Poet’s childhood Essay

â€Å"In Mrs. Tilscher’s Class† by Carol Ann Duffy deals with one central theme. The theme of growing up is the main idea within the poem and is repeatedly imprinted throughout the poet’s childhood. This theme leads on to the more abstract idea of the child already maturing into a great poet. Her mind’s eye is unbounded as she transforms her classroom into a place of riches and resides in her own world of imagination. Written improbably through the 2nd person viewpoint, the poem expresses these ideas personally to the reader, hence allowing us to empathise with the poet. The poet is able to recall several aspects of her primary school days, and is consequently able to paint a picture of her memories from the viewpoint of a young child. The writer not only conveys an inviting warm atmosphere of a 1960’s classroom, but also unveils a liberal outlook to her childhood. A colourful classroom with numerous displays is made known to the reader: â€Å"The classroom glowed like a sweet shop. † The classroom is made into a place of riches with this visual simile, used to radiate wonders of the child’s mind. The word â€Å"glowed† in this line is a metaphor all on its own. The metaphor allows the reader to visualise the sweetshop gleaming due to the light refracting through the glass jars and translucent sweets. The poet can also bring to mind the teacher’s blackboard, as she informs the reader of how â€Å"the chalky Pyramids rubbed into dust. † In a literal sense the chalky lines on the board became chalk dust. The poet imagines this to be great pyramids and monuments being eroded inevitably by time. The bell signifying the end of playtime is remembered as: â€Å"The laugh of a bell, swung by a running child. † This auditory image incorporates the personification of the bell, to compare its sound to an incessant laugh of a child. The bell’s laugh is a transferred epithet from the child, as the children too were laughing, overwhelmed with joy as they returned to their classroom for another dose of Mrs. Tilscher. The poet’s joy is so intense and infectious, that it reaches out and transforms the whole scene. Such is the magnitude of the poet’s emotion. The laugh is also a visual image, as the reader can see a smile as the arc of the bell, and the clapper hitting the sides of it is almost comparable to a tongue. However other images such as a â€Å"skittle of milk† are more informative and suggest the time setting of the poem. The poet also remembers a music room next door to her classroom, though only by means of â€Å"a xylophone’s nonsense† heard. This auditory image describes the noise of the xylophone next door and this is further expanded by the use of the single metaphoric word â€Å"nonsense† which implies the vague unclear noise heard and the fact that the primary school children are producing uncoordinated music. The â€Å"enthralling books† were not to be forgotten to the poet, as they had made her a slave to them continually, due to their alluring influence. All the images used to recall aspects of the poet’s primary school principally focus on an emotional and sensual level. The primary school classroom may have been a place memorable to the poet through various images, but the definitive piece of the poet’s 1960’s school life was Mrs. Tilscher. Mrs. Tilscher’s voice is not even forgotten, as the poet reminisces her voice as she â€Å"chanted the scenery. † Mrs. Tilscher’s chanting brings about connotations of music in her voice and melodic speech. It also brings about a sense of religion, as she is made comparable to a pastor in a church chanting a sermon, enlightening and entrancing us all. Mrs. Tilscher is portrayed as a compassionate teacher: â€Å"Mrs. Tilscher loved you† and shows kindness and care. The terms around the lines focused on Mrs. Tilscher also have an implication on how she is illustrated to the reader. Words with intense connotations such as glowed, sweet, sugar and coloured have associations with moods of joy, brilliance, love and bliss which all elaborate on Mrs. Tilscher’s image. The teacher is also illustrated to be appreciative: â€Å"Some mornings you found she’d left a good gold star by your name. † Although it seems that the poet finds aspects of the classroom just as unforgettable as Mrs. Tilscher, the poet essentially portrays the classroom’s essence to be the work of Mrs. Tilscher, through her tone of voice. Choices of words or diction such as â€Å"could† have connotations of possibility. When put into context and further developed on, the implications go as far as unconstrained and limitless possibility. The teacher opens up a whole world of possibility, and it is because of this the poet remembers so much about her classroom, a boundless environment. It is because of Mrs. Tilscher that the poets classroom surroundings were made to be so memorable. The poet’s tone of voice and language varies throughout the poem, and strong distinction is made between the first two stanzas and the last two stanzas. The language in the first two stanzas is exceptionally exuberant, more child-like in an emotional sense and the imagery is much more pleasant to envisage, filled with colour, vibrancy and liveliness: â€Å"Sugar paper. Coloured shapes. † Each individual phrase builds up an atmosphere full of warmth. However the last two stanzas are less joyous in their atmosphere, as the poet makes her transition to a state of being overwhelmed by hormones. The word connotations also vary greatly in these two stanzas, bringing suggestions of anger, accusation and dismay: â€Å"You kicked him, but stared at your parents, appalled. † The stanzas are also bleaker in description and imagery is uninviting: â€Å"The air tasted of electricity. † The poet’s feelings in stanza four are troubled, after being introduced to topic of how she was born: â€Å"A tangible alarm made you always untidy, hot, fractious under the heavy, sexy sky. † Such sentences furthermore use more mature and sophisticated language, which coincide with her growth as the language also develops. Therefore the poet’s outlook and tone of voice changes as she becomes much more interested in growing up than going to primary and learning in a high-spirited vibrant classroom. The reader of the poem is invited to personally explore the main ideas within the poem. This personal involvement of the reader seems appropriate, as the main theme conveyed, the journey of growing up, is your own personal exclusive journey. This personal involvement is due to the narration of the poem from the second-person viewpoint. This is shown through the excessive use of the second-person pronoun â€Å"You. † By using this narration style, the experience of the young poet is made universal and common. We can all be subjected to her experiences of growing up from the second-person narrative perspective. Although the reader finds it easy enough to face the poet’s experiences, Mrs. Tilscher feels that she should have no influence in the young child’s journey of growing up, and that such a journey should proceed at the person’s own pace. When the child asks the teacher about how she was born, â€Å"Mrs. Tilscher smiled, then turned away. † Mrs. Tilscher may have believed that the poet would learn in her own time, but the poet nevertheless encourages the reader to enter her journey. The poem illustrates two worlds in which the poet resided during her childhood days. The reader is able to capture not only the essence of the classroom, but also the limitless realm of the child’s imagination. Both these worlds exist alongside each other agreeably as the classroom is made into a creative place itself due to the influence of Mrs.Tilscher. The foremost apparent world presented by Carol Ann Duffy is the classroom. The classroom conveys images of riches, sweets, colour and joy. However beyond this, the classroom is seen to be a sanctuary. The classroom was a safe house against the world of murder and crime outside, as suggested by the mention of â€Å"Brady and Hindley† of the 1960’s. The real world begins to force an entry into the child’s reverie as she slowly begins to become conscious of the world outside. This is the first occasion in which the poet shows signs of growing up, which enforces the main theme of the poem. The girl learns that the real world isn’t to be trusted. The classroom however is portrayed as a world of its own, not troubled by the likes of such horrific murderers. The fear fades away in the classroom, and along with this so does the little hint of adulthood. She postpones her transition into adulthood for the meantime, as the poet shows us by using a child-like image after the allusion: â€Å"Brady and Hindley faded, like the faint uneasy smudge of a mistake. † This second component to the sentence indirectly illustrates the use of a pencil, and the occurrence of â€Å"silly mistakes. † It is because of this implication that the poet moves back into the state of childhood. The growth of the poet is exemplified in this classroom world, and therefore this world is very significant to the theme. Conversely, on a more abstract plane, the poem portrays another world within the child’s mind. A whole world of imagination and vision. The poet expresses that she â€Å"could travel up the Blue Nile with your finger tracing the route. † The poet is tracing her finger down the Nile, and is in her imaginative world of Egypt. On the other hand, in reality the teacher is demonstrating sketch maps on the board. The word within the poem, which establishes both worlds within and without, is a metaphor on its own. The word â€Å"travel† is the single metaphor, which suggests that the poet is on a journey within her mind, when actually she is stationary within her school seat. The poet also conveys the main theme in this imaginative world, as the child not only travels with her finger and during her daydream, but she furthermore travels through her journey of growing up. The child is beginning to grow into a great poet, and this is shown through various lines within the poem. A very strong contributor to this idea of the girl growing into a great poet is an example of synaesthesia: â€Å"The scent of a pencil, slowly carefully shaven. † This image appeals to all of the senses at once, and incorporates kinetic, olfactory, visual and tactile aspects. This line shows how the poet â€Å"carefully shaved† her pencil, just in the same way she carefully crafts sentences. This is extended even further by the link made between the writing tool and the writing process. The child poet is even able to link this image full of senses to the main theme of growing up. The act of the girl carefully shaving the pencil, symbolises how she is shaving or peeling off her childhood as she makes the transition into adulthood. The poet gradually conveys to the reader that there are two states of growth within the poem, and that the girl is maturing both into adolescence and into a mind of an exceptional poet. The last stanza of the poem focuses the atmosphere and the attitude of the poet into an uninviting overcast, but also centers in on the theme. It illustrates the â€Å"feverish† month of July, oppressed by the summer and heat. Alongside this are the hormones of the child, felt almost within the air. These hormones amplify the effect of the afflicting heat. The air also â€Å"tasted of electricity†, which conveys the anticipation of summer thunderstorms due to the heavy air. However â€Å"electricity† also relates with the hormones to suggest that the child will spark at random times and also that the growth of the child is full of charge, energy and excitement. Further along, the use of the phrase â€Å"a tangible alarm† portrays an almost touchable fear within the air. This fear made the girl â€Å"fractious under the sexy sky. † This expresses to the reader that the girl had many sudden outbursts of anger due to her hormones. These hormones influence her thoughts and are the causes behind the poet using the term â€Å"sexy† to describe the sky. The last line of the poem communicates how this adolescent phase is like a thunderstorm. The thunderstorm represents her feelings of puberty, as she feels as though the whole world is coming down on her, just as in a thunderstorm. The lightning of a thunderstorm also links to the connotations of the â€Å"electricity. † The lightning of the thunderstorm could symbolize the mood swings awaiting the child. The lightning also illustrates the fact that there is an unsettlement within the child, as if an electric current was continually running through her. The rain of a thunderstorm conveys the downpour of gloom upon the child throughout the hard times to come. On an overall view the experience of puberty and growing up is just a phase and in time will pass. Soon the child will be entirely in adulthood. Likewise the thunderstorm is just an unpleasant phase in the sequence of weather and in time shall pass. Before long the sun will overpower such a ghastly occurrence of weather. Overall, â€Å"In Mrs.Tilscher’s Class† by Carol Ann Duffy is a poem which allows the reader to personally identify themselves with the poet. The poem is contrastive between the stanzas and thus the poet is able to isolate the main idea. Two worlds are created expressing the wonders of the classroom, but also illustrating the unconstrained world of the girl’s imagination. Through these two worlds we see signs of the girl growing into a great poet. However the most essential idea of the poem is the theme of growing up and maturing. It is a journey through adolescence: â€Å"You ran through the gates, impatient to be grown. â€Å"

Dubbing and Subtitling

UNIT: Dubbing and Subtitling Structure 1. Objectives 1. Introduction 2. Dubbing in Global Media Industry 1. What is Dubbing 2. Difference between Dubbing and Voice-Over 3. Challenges of Dubbing 4. Necessity of Dubbing in Global Media Industry 1. 3 Subtitling in Global Media Industry 1. What is Subtitling 2. Types of Subtitling 3. History of Subtitling 4. Challenges of Subtitling 5. Necessity of Subtitling in Global Media Industry 1. 4 Difference between Dubbing and Subtitling 1. 5 Necessity of Dubbing and Subtitling in Global Media Industry 1. Summing up 1. 7 Glossary 1. 8 Further Readings 9. Check your Progress: Solutions . 1. Objectives After reading this unit, you will be able to: †¢ Describe the difference between Dubbing and Subtitling †¢ Demonstrate the growing demand of Dubbing and Subtitling in Global Media Industry †¢ Describe the prospect of Dubbing and Subtitling in Global Media Industry 3. Introduction In this unit we will discuss the concept and role of Du bbing and Subtitling in Global Media Industry. We will try to differentiate Dubbing from Voice-Over. We will also discuss the difference between dubbing and subtitling. We will focus on the challenges in Dubbing and Subtitling. Apart from this, we will focus on the necessity and of Dubbing and Subtitling. Pictures have universal language. It is said that a picture is better than 1000 words. Films, Television and other video programs are the forms of pictures in which pictures are moved at a very high speed (24 to 48 frames per second) Since the beginning of Cinema, films have been a global commodity to be exported in other countries. Lumiere Brothers, who were among the pioneers of cinematography came to India to show their cinema to Indians and British. India’s First movie to be released was made by ‘Father of Indian cinema- Dhundiraj Govind Phalke (alias Dadasaheb Phalke). It was in 1913 when his film ‘Rajah Harischandra’ was released in theatres. It was a silent movie with no voice at all. Only pictures with body gestures. It was watched by the people of different states of India speaking different languages. So popular and hit was the movie that Phalke went on to make more than hundred movies. Movies of this silent Era (1913-1930) had dialogues through inter-lines which were often in English and two or three Indian Languages. And making a movie and showing it to the people of different places speaking different languages was not a problem. But when ‘Talkies’ came into the picture the issue of language rose there. Now it was not possible to make a movie in one language and show it to the people of different places speaking different languages. Had there been no voice in the movies, serials and other video format programs there would have not been any need writing this chapter at all. . 2 Dubbing in Global Media Industry 2. What is Dubbing In simple words Dubbing is the process of creating an alternate, synchronized soundtrack of the complete dialogue of any film, Television program or any other video program. Dubbing is the process through which soundtrack of a video production is replaced. The term most commonly refers to the substitution of the voices of the actors shown on the screen by those of different performers, who may be speaking a different language The video can a film or television program or any other video. In most of the cases dubbing is done to provide the new sound track to an already produced video in the language of the targeted audience. While doing so, the synchronization between the visuals and sound track is ensured. Dubbing helps the video to reach to a larger number of audiences of different language spread across the globe. . â€Å"Dubbing† also describes the process of an actor's re-recording lines spoken during filming and which must be replaced to improve audio quality or reflect dialog changes. This process is called  automated dialogue replacement, or  ADR  for short. Music is also dubbed onto a film after editing is completed. For instance, in India, there are hundreds of languages and dialects spoken by people living in different parts of the state. Every producer who produce any film or TV program or video advertisement wants to reach maximum number of audience Films, videos and sometimes video games are sometimes dubbed into the local  language  of a foreign market. Dubbing is common in theatrically released film,  television series, cartoons and  anime  given foreign distribution. 3. Difference between Dubbing and Voice-Over Dubbing is the process through which soundtrack of a video production is replaced, usually in the language other than the language of original production. Dubbing is the exact translation of the dialogues of the original language into the targeted language. For example a movie originally produced in Hindi is translated to Tamil and all the Hindi dialogues of the movie are translated and recorded in Tamil ensuring the synchronisation with the visuals of the original visuals. On the other hand Voice-over is process of provided detail of visuals in the sound track. Voice-Over is done in the language of production. 4. Challenges of Dubbing Languages, understood as the particular set of speech norms of a particular community, are also a part of the larger culture of the community that speak them. A community's ways of using language is a part of the community's culture, just as other shared practices are, it is way of displaying group identity Languages do not differ only in pronunciation, vocabulary or grammar, but also through having different â€Å"cultures of speaking Accent, articulation, enunciation, Intonation, stress, pause, rhythm according to the targeted language†¦. cultuaral aspects ,, different languages have different culture according to the place and society they are spoken in. 5. Necessity of Dubbing in Global Media Industry Glabalisation in late eighties and early nineties has opened the door of most of the countries for business of goods and services including the media business which includes entertainment as well. A movie produced in Hollywood is exported to different countries to be released in the theatres of those countries. The number of audience, who watch English movies, is not as high as the number of audience in local or regional language. In such scenarios it becomes imperative to dub the movie in the local language so that it may reach to larger number of audience. In this way dubbing is beneficial for the producer of the movie, local government and the audience who get the dubbed version of the Hollywood movie in their own language. Producer can maximise his profit, local government generates more revenue as entertainment tax and income tax and the local audience get the opportunity to enjoy the movie in their own language, which otherwise would not have been possible. 3. Subtitling in Global Media Industry 1. 3. 1 What is Subtitling (an abbreviated version of the dialogue, which is projected on the screen) Subtitles  are textual versions of the dialog in films and television programs, usually displayed at the bottom of the screen. They can either be a form of written  translation  of a dialog in a foreign language, or a written rendering of the dialog in the same language, with or without added information to help viewers who are  deaf  and  hard-of-hearing  to follow the dialog, or people who cannot understand the spoken dialogue or who have accent recognition problems. Television teletext subtitles, which are hidden unless requested by the viewer from a menu or by selecting the relevant  teletext  page (e. g. , p. 888), always carry additional sound representations for deaf and hard of hearing viewers. Teletext subtitle language follows the original audio, except in multi-lingual countries where the broadcaster may provide subtitles in additional languages on other teletext pages. Sometimes, mainly at  film festivals, subtitles may be shown on a separate display below the screen, thus saving the film-maker from creating a subtitled copy for perhaps just one showing. Television subtitling for the deaf and hard-of-hearing is also referred to as  closed captioning  in some countries. 2. Types of Subtitling 3. History of Subtitling 4. Challenges of Subtitling 5. Necessity of Subtitling in Global Media Industry Subtitling is the quickest and the cheapest method of translating content, and is usually praised for the possibility to hear the original dialog and voices of the actors. TV subtitles may be primarily for deaf people or those who are hard of hearing, but research has revealed they are used by six million people who have no hearing impairment Research by Ofcom, the media regulator, has found that of the 7. 5 million people who use TV subtitles, six million have no hearing impairment at all. (A BBC report on 31 March 2006) Global Language , Not all the films are made in English neither all the audience know English. Here arises the need for dubbing a movie into different languages so that it may reach to a larger number of audience. 3. Difference between Dubbing and Subtitling Though dubbing and subtitling both are done to reach to the audience of languages other than that in which the original production has been done. In many cases the subtitling is done in the language of production as well. This is to cater the needs of those who have hearing disabilities and for educational purposes. For example government of India promotes the process of subtitling in its programs on Doordarshan. Despite of having the above similarity Dubbing and Subtitling are different from each other in basic concept and activity. Dubbing is a process of creating an alternate, synchronized soundtrack of the complete dialogue on the other hand Subtitling is text version of the dialogue, which is projected on the screen, normally at the bottom of the screen. 1. 5 1. 6 Summing up 1. 7 Glossary 1. 8 Further Readings 1. Zatlin, Phyllis 2005 â€Å"Theatrical Translation & Film Adaptation† A Practitioner’s View. Clevedon, England: MULTILINGUAL MATTERS LTD 2. 3. 10. Check your Progress: Solutions

The Anti-Vietnam War Movement Was A Testament For American Nationalism

The Allied Forces won the Second World War. Democracy was restored. Peace soon reigned worldwide. But the victory became short-lived. Another ideology surfaced. A former ally, the Soviet Union spearheaded the campaign of communism globally. â€Å"In 1946 President Harry Truman gave voice to the new geopolitical position of the United States by stating that America would, â€Å"assist all free peoples against threats of revolution and attack from without† (Wiest, 2003). The Soviet menace continued. Russian troops gradually gobbled most countries in Eastern Europe into submission.The United States government fortified its military capability. The Soviet nation did the same. And the Cold War began. Communism spread like fire. Although the main focus of the threat was in Europe, destabilization plots escalated among some nations in South East Asia. Prior to the Second World War, France dominated most of the continent. Its colonies included Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam. When Japan e ntered the war, the French government lost its hold and influence. When events settled down, France wanted to regain the lands it formerly occupied.With the Japanese threat out of the picture, French exerted its influence all over again. Vietnam, being a former colony, came on the French list first. The colonizers controlled the Third World country before the Second World War. They thought that it would be easy to put Vietnam back under their fold. It was a different story this time. THE ROAD TO WAR Vietnam surprised the French effort to subdue and control them. A charismatic leader named Ho Chi Minh led the revolution against the foreign conquerors. Given a small chance of winning their independence, the Vietnamese guerilla group retreated to the jungles to regroup.The firepower of the French troops proved to be too much against the ill-equipped and ill-trained forces of Ho Chi Minh. Refusing to engage the enemy head on, the Vietnamese looked forward to a long harassing war that wo uld soon exhaust and later discourage their foes to simply fold up. The confrontation escalated and surprised the foreign legion about the strong determination of a small band of resistance. Significant events began to unravel in 1949. Mao Che-tung challenged the rule of democracy in China. The North Koreans battled the South for supremacy over the peninsula.â€Å"President Dwight Eisenhower put the new position of the United States into words in his inaugural address in 1952 when he remarked that, â€Å"the French in Vietnam are fighting the same war we are in Korea† (Wiest, 2003). The United States felt the need to stretch its hands to prevent a communist takeover over the rest of the world. The uprising within the region inspired Ho Chi Minh and his followers. They fought back and inflicted serious casualties on the French side. Reeling from defeat after defeat, France loosened it hold on the colony. The situation divided Vietnam.The communist supporters rallied around th e North while the South directed its efforts to strengthen its grip on democracy. As communism gained momentum, Ho Chi Minh directed an attack against South Vietnam with the purpose of uniting the country once and for all. When France decided to give up its position in the war-torn nation, the United States Administration assumed the role of driving back the communist threat. â€Å"The United States first became directly involved in Vietnam in 1950 when President Harry Truman started to underwrite the costs of France's war against the Viet Minh† (http://www.cyberessays. com/History/168. htm). In the beginning, the communist leader of Vietnam never intended to draw the Americans into a bloody engagement. But the involvement of the U. S. simply left Vietnam with no choice but to defend itself. As American troops gradually increased its number in the South, the Vietcong from the North instituted yet again a guerilla tactic to tire out the enemy. The U. S. government reasoned out that the main reason why it participated in the Vietnam debacle was to stave off the ideological threat of communism.With the withdrawal of the French forces after a series of stinging defeats, America had no choice but to intervene for the sake of democracy. AMERICAN INTERVENTION The Vietnam War was another thorn on the America’s pathway. At around that period, the government dealt with the instability brought about by racism, bigotry and equality. Upholding the human rights became the battle cry among the citizens throughout the country. Despite all the internal problems hounding the nation, the U. S. government solidified its stand in checking the communist threat.America knew that if the new found ideology remained unchecked, the world would be in peril. With no other country willing to challenge the Soviet aggression, the U. S. found enough reason to assume the responsibility in protecting democracy. Nations with strong and direct links with the United States reluctantl y supported the drive against communism. However, their involvement came in a variety of ways. Many countries pledged their support in ways other than committing combat troops. America contended itself with the medical and engineering battalions from cooperative nations to back its cause in Vietnam.As the United States went deep in its mission to prevent a communist takeover in the South, the number of troops it brought to the worsening war increased. Public outcry blasted the American policy in handling the situation in Vietnam. . â€Å"Starting with teach-ins during the spring of 1965, the massive antiwar efforts centered on the colleges, with the students playing leading roles† (http://www. cyberessays. com/History/168. htm). PUBLIC SENTIMENT In the beginning, the public were inspired by democratic ideals to defend freedom in every part of the globe. Support came rushing all over the states.American sentiments, limited primarily inside the corners of the homes of its citiz ens, eventually spilled out in the streets. Rallies and demonstrations soon became a common sight on the newspapers and the television. The media did a good job in motivating a public outcry. U. S. involvement in Vietnam inspired a spirit of nationalism on two fronts. Setting aside its internal racial discourse, the Americans worked together in its bid to eliminate the communist ideology in Asia once and for all. However, things became uneventful and the U. S. took on a new meaning for the word nationalism.Never since the attack on Pearl Harbor did the United States found itself rallying around the flag in its involvement in Vietnam. The government fueled talks about America’s new role in shaping the events and situations around the world. It went on to say that the U. S. Armed Forces had a duty and responsibility to fulfill not merely to the American people but to the entire humanity in general. Being the most sophisticated and most advanced nation globally, America must loo k at the bigger picture. No country wanted to fill in the shoes of promoting and maintaining peace and progress on earth.Most regimes simply wanted to reinforce its hold on power than do anything of significance and value. Americans took pride in uplifting their potentials and ideals to a level of unmatched ability. People valued their freedom too much. Because of this, they willed to do anything against the rule of oppression. These individuals believed in enforcing order all throughout the society. Only through a nation under control would growth and development materialize. The United States always looked ahead of its time. The future remained to be a distant goal.The citizens were willing to risk anything to fulfill its vision of a free and united country. When the Vietnam War erupted, many critics downplayed its significance to the star-spangled nation. But its modern role to promote global stability was too big to ignore. The spread of communism risked freedom to be conquered. Due to this grave danger, America was compelled to fight an external conflict. The citizens understood this, at least primarily, and supported the move in disarming the communist threat. The American people believed in its supremacy.It believed that the entire nation could achieve whatever there was out there to achieve. The government promised the citizens that the country was fighting a war far larger than it was widely perceived. It could never be denied that a victory of a communist regime would be a big blow to democracy. Being the leading staunch supporter of democratic ideals, the United States must assert its claim in proclaiming the freedom that the nation stood for. Every direction that the country steered itself into reflected the united front instilled among the Americans.It would be unfair if communism remained nullified and misunderstood in its concept. The ideology believed in the equal distribution of wealth and resources in the community. This vision of equal parta ke of the pie would be a welcome development if only it could be applied. Communism was patterned from the Socialist manifesto coined by Karl Marx. There was a preconceived notion that a communist rule would be progressive. Since the government controlled everything, its citizens were poised to be given equal rights and equal chances to shine in the society.But the truth was that a nation thrived not because of government intervention. No matter how good the governance of a country was, it would be difficult to subdivide opportunities equally. The growth and development of people relied on hard work. Government intervention maybe vital but prosperity resided in the ability of the citizens to make things happen. Freedom had no substitute. Unless suppressed, individuals have that capability to realize their dreams. America believed so much in their dreams. Its freedom was the vital factor in their progress as a nation.The ability to move around and weigh their options was what kept th e nation going. The law of the state shattered down all boundaries and borders which inhibit democratic ideals to pull through. Democracy valued the individual no end. The citizen was considered instrumental in making the wheels the freedom rolling. Regulations were enacted around the individual to allow a free reign of ideas to materialize. The American public openly supported its fight against communism. But as the Vietnam War drag on, the people saw that the situation was getting out of hand.The number of body bags which were coming home had increased. Americans felt that resources were being wasted in a foreign situation without the end in sight. Numerous draftees left for Vietnam and few would eventually make it back home. ANTI-WAR MOVEMENT The American people supported their government’s involvement in Vietnam. They were motivated to help a nation contain the repression of freedom. But somewhere along the line, more and more young American soldiers were killed. Many gro ups and organizations felt the need to review the superpower nation’s objective in winning the war in Vietnam.But the government hardly came up with a good explanation. The situation had gone bad to worst. And the public was looking at a war gone awry. The U. S. Administration could not address the different problems involved in the situation. Much more, it cannot give direct answers to the questions and concerns of the citizens. Numerous and contrasting groups around the United States rallied and gathered together each with causes of their own. Anti-government movements surfaced with the National Committee for a Sane Nuclear Policy when nuclear programs proliferated at the start of the Cold War.But the most aggressive campaigns against government regulations began with the rise of the radical Student Peace Union in 1959 although it went out of contention five years later. A more active group, the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) continued upholding the cause. The orga nization was meant to assist the laborers, the intellectuals and the oppressed people. SDS later was taken over by student radicals during the 1950s. Sensing the disorientation and listless significance of life among Americans, the group voiced out its concern against the government. It actively pursued in valuing human rights in the society.It supported Lyndon Johnson in its bid for the presidency against Barry Goldwater in 1964. Social reforms were the main concern of the SDS. As the Vietnam War escalated, more and more young people were drafted from the Southern part of the country. The government also pulled out numerous individuals out from schools for a tour of duty in Vietnam. Civil Rights rallies continued to flourish. The public saw the gradual increase of enlisted men in the U. S. Armed Forces which revealed that American involvement in South East Asia was getting serious. Casualties began to pile up and replacements were seriously considered.It was 1965. The anti-war move ment which initially was limited inside the campus gained wide recognition throughout the country. â€Å"The history of that movement is not only one of demonstrations, teach-ins, rallies and hundreds of other actions. It was also a history of internal debate over how and for what purpose to mobilize mass sentiment against the war† (Lorimer, 1991). When the bombing in North Vietnam began, demonstrations increased and anti-government activities moved on swiftly. Rallies and anti-war sorties gained prominence on every avenue of the United States.Faculty members joined the movement and immediately made an impact. A series of seminars were held to educate the public about the political, military and social effects of the Vietnam War. The march towards the capital city slowly gained numerous members. On April 1965, about 25, 000 people gathered in Washington D. C. to protest American involvement in Vietnam. Inspired by the turnout of events, campus editors formed a nationwide netw ork of media organizations that would circulate and educate various information and activities in connection with the anti-war movement.Pressure mounted on the Pentagon especially on Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara to end the war. The campaign gained more support from the religious community which sent out letters expressing their opinions and reactions about the turmoil in Vietnam. In 1966, the movement penetrated military branch and draft evasion became a major issue. Almost all sectors in the community had a hand one way or the other in keeping the youth out of the draft. Many individuals sought refuge in nearby countries such as Canada and Sweden to elude a trip to Vietnam.â€Å"In a January 1967 article written for the Chicago Defender, Martin Luther King, Jr. openly expressed support for the antiwar movement on moral grounds. Reverend King expanded on his views in April at the Riverside Church in New York, asserting that the war was draining much-needed resources from do mestic programs† (Barringer, 1999). His views were not limited to religious matters alone. He tackled the moral effects of the ongoing war. As the number of recruits from the South increased in number, King voiced out his concern about the plight of the African-Americans in the United States.He assailed the government’s action to prolong the war by risking a huge chunk of the taxpayers’ money. The Johnson administration began feeling the pressure internally. McNamara was fired shortly after questioning the real objectives of the conflict. George Ball the Secretary of State handed out unsolicited advice to the president. The Vietnam War was taking too long. Cabinet members and government officials reviewed the political stance of the country. It was 1968. Election was on its way. Presidential candidates capitalized on the confusion of the current administration. The U. S.government turned out to be divided in its opinion and decision about the Vietnam situation. W ith no end in sight for the Vietnam offensive, the Tet American public opinion revealed that majority of the population now opposed the conflict. The Johnson presidency continued drafting young citizens for a tour of duty in South East Asia. Its policies about the war remained unchanged. The situation infuriated the anti-war movement across the American nation. â€Å"The peace movement was often militant, and many on the campuses came to reject non-violence and fought heroically against the police† (http://www. chss.montclair. edu/english/furr/Vietnam/riseandfall. html). Student activists clashed with police. The once peaceful rallies turned violent and blood spilled over. Protesters bloodied the streets and stormed the draft centers in different cities throughout the United States. President’s Johnson’s advisers reversed the administration’s position on the Vietnamese issue and the presidency bowed out of contention. Anti-war dissidents grew bolder in it s actions. Fights soon erupted during public demonstrations. Protests continued and an estimated 500,000 people participated on the citizen’s second march to Washington.Active members rose from the ranks and went to the frontlines to lead the movement. However, the new frontrunners in the anti-war campaign gained little recognition from the American society. It was an age of expression. Majority of the general public declined its support due to the unacceptable and disturbing behavior of the protesters. The anti-war movement introduced a lifestyle which bannered the Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ roll theme. The situation turned complicated because of behavioral concerns. The protesters disrespected soldiers returning from Vietnam. American support for the movement faded a bit.Just when things subsided, an immediate turn of events angered the entire nation. Richard Nixon the newly-elected president planned the withdrawal of troops in 1970. But the war suddenly went ugly with a few shocking events. There was a public discomfort when news reported the involvement of American troops in the My Lai massacre. In addition, the United States entered a new trail in its bloody campaign when it invaded Vietnam’s neighboring country Cambodia. American sentiment across the nation was high. Academic institutions, Union groups and even some government agencies like the State department called for an end to hostilities.Violence went full gear when the National Guardsmen in Ohio killed a number of protesters at Kent State University. The public outcry was further driven out of proportion when true stories and coverage about American troop activities were revealed in the New York Times. Incompetence, disorganization, neglect, cruelty and abuses were directly associated with the behavior of the American military contingent. It was hardly the news all American citizens wanted to hear. The Nixon administration was quick to grasp the impending doom of prolonging the co nflict.On January 1973, the president announced the official statement which ended the American involvement in the Vietnam War. The anti-war movement was not without resistance. It was during President Johnson’s presidency that protests and demonstrations rose to the public consciousness. The government conducted suppressive methods against the dissidents. Intelligence groups monitored the movements and activities of many protesters. The Central Intelligence Agency and the Federal Bureau of Investigation tracked down numerous figures involved with the demonstrations.Investigations even came to the point that conspiracy theories were framed by the communist groups to promote turmoil in America as a means of confusing and disorganizing the government’s focus on the war. But none of the framed stories were actually true. When America got itself involved in the Vietnam situation, a huge number of the population supported the government’s decision to intervene. Two y ears later, the public’s backing percentage was down to around 30%. A surprising development soon emerged in the middle of the Vietnam conflict.Many Americans denounced the activities of the anti-war movement. However, due to the opposition to the war, most of the citizens joined the demonstrators in pressuring the government to end the escalating engagement. It was the image of the marchers and dissidents which the American public never liked. Drugs, alcohol and rock n’ roll were too much to handle especially in supporting a serious matter like the Vietnam War. â€Å"The antiwar movement reached its zenith under President Richard M. Nixon. In October 1969, more than 2 million people participated in Vietnam Moratorium protests across the country.The following month, over 500,000 demonstrated in Washington and 150,000 in San Francisco† (Barringer, 1999). The Kent State shootings and the invasion of Cambodia fueled one of the biggest protests in recent history. St udents from most universities and colleges joined hands with White House officials and blue collar workers to pressure the Nixon administration in ending the Vietnam War. Numerous arrests were made. Different groups came out in the open to lend their support. The complicated situation in the U. S. was coupled by the worsening American troop situation in Vietnam. Discipline vanished. Drugs became rampant.The morale was down. The way the Americans dealt the communist situation in the South East Asian region turned out to be disastrous. Never did it occur to them that a rag-tag band of guerrillas would take chances with superior firepower of the United States. As more and more troops came back home, demonstrations and protests gradually subsided. Troop withdrawal began in 1971. It was almost completed in 1975. The remaining anti-Vietnam War crowd continued to hound the government about other issues related to the war. The after effects of the bombing in Vietnam, the situation of the Vi etnamese civilians and the mismanagement of the U. S.funding for the conflict were some of the arguments used by the activists in continuing their marches. CONCLUSION â€Å"The American movement against the Vietnam War was the most successful antiwar movement in U. S. history† (Barringer, 1999). The conflict became a modern test of character for its people. Although it wasn’t the United States’s finest hour, victory could still be claimed. It showed the strength of the American public. In times of turmoil and disorder, no matter what circumstances or events were there, as long the interest of the nation was at stake, individuals gathered together to show unity and support for the Motherland.People owe so much to the land of their birth. It gave them life and liberty. Individuals from all corners settled their differences to unite and engage a common enemy. Americans portrayed a spirit of nationalism on two fronts. Primarily, citizens rallied around the flag righ t away when American involvement in Vietnam was announced. It was interesting to note how persons with different backgrounds could come together and work as one to achieve a specific objective. Americans held hands to fight for a cause. Citizens were instrumental in making the war possible.It sacrificed thousands of young American soldiers to battle an ideological threat. Moreover, the American people were also a vital factor in ending the war. As the war took longer than expected, the individuals behind the anti-Vietnam War movement reversed its previous decision to go on fighting. With numerous lives at stake, a united American front retrieved its troops from Vietnam and ended the conflict right there and then. Nationalism valued every American soldier. The interest of the nation was what drives the citizens to excel.No matter what was at stake, unity kept a country progressive and protected amidst the threat of external conflicts like the Vietnam War. â€Å"The outpouring of str ong feelings and the tense atmosphere generated by the crisis make it easy to lose sight of some important aspects of this war–and all wars–which need to be dealt with on a personal and on a social level† (Stew, 1991). BIBLIOGRAPHY Barringer, M.. The Anti-war Movement in the United States. Oxford UP. 1999. 4 November 2007. http://www. english. uiuc. edu/maps/vietnam/antiwar. html Lorimer, D.. Lessons of the Anti-Vietnam War Movement.New Course Publications. 1991. 4 November 2007. http://www. dsp. org. au/dsp/resist/r9viet. html Stew, C. The U. S. Soldier and the Anti-Vietnam War Movement. International Anarchism. 1991. 4 November 2007. http://flag. blackened. net/revolt/inter/seattle/vietnam. html Wiest, A.. The Vietnam War, 1956-1975. New York: Routledge. 2003. The Rise and Fall of the Anti-War Movement in the U. S.. 4 November 2007. http://www. chss. montclair. edu/english/furr/Vietnam/riseandfall. html Anti-Vietnam Movement in the U. S. 4 November 2007. http:/ /www. cyberessays. com/History/168. htm

Financial Statement Analysis Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words - 1

Financial Statement Analysis - Essay Example The company’s revenue was up and down during period. A clearer picture of these changes is provided in the charts labelled Figure 1. The information in Figure 1 shows that Dixon Retail experience higher levels of turnover in nominal terms than Home Retail during the five year period. The trend was similar up to 2012. However, Home Retail’s revenue continued to decline in 2013 while Dixon Retail’s Revenue increased. When the figures are adjusted for inflation the picture is somewhat different. (See Table 2 in the Appendix.) Figure 2 illustrates the trend for both companies in real terms. The information in Figure 2 shows similar trends for both companies for both companies over the first four years – a slight decline in revenue in real terms between 2009 and 2010; a significant decline between 2010 and 2011; and a moderate decline and increase between 2012 and 2013 for Home Retail and Dixon Retail respectively. A companies cost of sales is the cost of raw materials and other costs necessary to get the goods to the customer. The common size cost of sales for Home Retail group shows a continuous increase from 65.69% of turnover in 2009 to 68.37 in 2013. This is an indication of rising costs of goods without a similar increase in price. The information for Dixon Retail was somewhat different as the common size cost of sales ranged from 92.48% to 94.86%. These two percentages were recorded in 2012 and 2013 respectively. Figure 3 shows the information for both companies. Figure 3 shows a bar graph of common size costs. The graph shows that the common size costs for Home Retail showed an upward trend while that for Dixon Retail remained fairly stable with an obvious slight decline in 2010. A company’s gross profit represents the difference between its sales revenue (turnover) and its cost of sales. The gross profit as a percentage of sales was much higher for Home Retail – above 30% than for

Developing nations' (Brazil) specific challenges and triumphs in the Research Paper

Developing nations' (Brazil) specific challenges and triumphs in the face of rapid economic change and growth - Research Paper Example This paper focuses on Brazil, one of the developing countries, that is growing at a rapid speed and is intensely getting affected by globalization (Schirm, n. d.). Globalization and Economic Expansion: After globalization Brazil is undergoing many of the economic changes. Its net amount of business with the rest of the world has increased significantly after globalization. The country is now experiencing large volume of flows of economic resources (form human capital to natural and physical capital). The volume of trade is significantly increasing overtime (Schirm, n.d.). The close association of economic expansion and globalization is also true in case of Brazil. Due to economic expansion (the effect), after globalization (the cause), Brazil’s economy is experiencing much higher level output as well as much higher rate of growth. Since the level of trade is one of the most important measurements of judging whether an economy is expanding, it can easily be said that over the l ast twenty years Brazil is going through the take-stage. These economic factors are affecting the country’s social and cultural aspects also (Tucker, 2008, p. 408). Both these aspects together are creating rapid economic growth throughout the world and these are significantly affecting the world economies. ... After following a method of import substitution and separation or a considerable period of time Brazil entered the global scenario. Fernando Collor was the first voted president of Brazil in 1960 to initiate an impression of stabilizing currency, lower tariffs and destabilize the public administration via budget cuts. This marked the beginning for Brazil of opening up into the world economy (Fishlow, 2000). Globalization and Brazil: Due to the occurrence of globalization the developing nations, such as Brazil, are experiencing rapid changes in their economic, social and general lives. Brazil’s economy has largely been changed after globalization. Its economy is now hugely dependent upon the world economy. Brazil’s overall income level or GDP is much higher now. This economy is much more open. This openness ensures the high income level. Not only that, the rate of growth of Brazil’s economy is much higher now. The economy is experiencing every bit of the progress of the global economy. The level of trading, i.e. the volume of exports and imports are growing in number. The infrastructural improvements are considered as one of the measurements of impact of globalization, then it can easily be said that this impact has been very positive on Brazil’s economic structure. It is quite clear that like all other developing nations Brazil has properly used the benefits of globalization. It is now a globally recognized economy in terms of the ranges of exports and imports and also in terms of the level of income and the rate of growth of income (Globalization and Emerging Economies, 2009). Economic expansion and Brazil: The financial system of Brazil is budding fast. After liberalization of the economy, it is experiencing significant growth path in terms of

MIH 514 - Cross Cultural Health Perspectives (Mod 4 SLP) Essay

MIH 514 - Cross Cultural Health Perspectives (Mod 4 SLP) - Essay Example He then lights a candle and places it on the floor in the center of the room, and shook his sacred rattle, commanding . The grating sound of the rattle draws all attention and he recites a ritual sometimes to the audience and sometimes whispered in the ear of the deceased. Soon he straddles the corpse and orders the gros-bon-ange to come out. When the gros-bon-ange comes out the priestess cuts tufts of hair from the head of the deceased which are sealed in a clay jar and later placed next to his body and buried with him. The spirit gros-bon-ange then roams among the family members and enters one of their bodies. This family member goes into a trance and tells everyone good bye one by one. The family member is then released from his trance and the gros-bon-ange then moves away to enter heaven (OGorman, 2008). They believe the body is then just an empty tomb that no longer holds any essence of the person who was there before. The final ritual at the end of the sequence of events is the breaking of a large clay jar. The jar is beaten into pieces and then buried. The clay jar represents the body because they believe that they body is made of clay and water and it is beaten to represent the cruelty of taking someone away from their life with their community. Finally it is buried and every single fragment is assured to be in the same place for burial. The Haitian people are encouraged not to have sorrow over the loss of this family member or friend as they believe this soul is soon born into the body of a new baby. Therefore there is reason to celebrate and not morn. However, it is of course difficult to do this and many times they will go to the celebration whaling at one minute and laughing and dancing at another. Catholicism and vodum are a necessary part of Haitian existence. God and the Saints of the Church and loas the ancestral spirits of Africa on the other. For Haitians, the

Compare and contrast the opportunities and threats facing global Essay

Compare and contrast the opportunities and threats facing global companies in the three Triad markets. To what extent do these differences suggest different app - Essay Example This essay describes multinational corporations, that till two decades ago were vertically integrated and hierarchically organized. Now the multinationals disperse the core activities including the technological development. Today the â€Å"developing countries† are developing cutting edge technology. Software development and pharmaceutical research is being done in India while mobile and telecommunications is concentrated in China. Advanced aerospace work is being done in Brazil. The reason for driving work to these nations is due to the push to cut costs as globalization has heightened competition. In the case of technology development, the basic research and development was done at some central laboratories while the application was carried out at triad production facilities. At the same time there is a pull of growth markets in emerging economies that requires new engineering and technology development. This paper discusses how the strategies in the triad markets have diff ered and the causes thereon. The researcher then presents some examples on the subject, such as UK has used strategies like disruptive innovation apart from having a conservative approach which is responsible for the slow growth in every sector. Japan has a positive approach and believes in having strong vendor relations which has been duplicated by the US. It is then concluded that while threats arise from different factors, opportunities too are plenty and the right strategy is to be at the right place in the right way at the right time.

Comparison of Two Books Relevance to South Asian History Research Paper - 1

Comparison of Two Books Relevance to South Asian History - Research Paper Example When the selected personalities are world popular, one has to wade through various materials and details concerning their popularity. As their contributions to the nation as well as its people are invaluable, one should be very cautious in presenting even the minute details regarding them. This is quite applicable to the comparative study of Subhas Chandra Bose, the great Indian revolutionary, and Mother Theresa, the Nun Mother who taught the world the real values of love and kindness in human life. Attempting a comparative study of these two eminent personalities one should first of all focus on their background. The people of India keep everlasting memories about Subhas Chandra Bose even after fifty years of his death, but he is not much popular with many of the westerners. As the extremist leader of the Provisional Government of Free India after its establishment by the Axis powers during World War II, many regard him as the Asian Hitler or Quisling. But he was soon forgotten just after the Allies defeated his Indian National Army. For the Indians, he is still â€Å"Netaji† or "revered leader." Mother Theresa, the Nun Mother was born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu in Skopje, Macedonia, on August 26, 1910. She was born to Albanian descent parents and it is said that she had the call of God at the age of twelve. This prompted her in joining the sisters of Loreto, an Irish community of nuns with missions in India (The Nobel Peace Prize 1979). When Mother was assigned to India after her initial vows as a nun, she happened to meet the pathetic state of the poor people outside the convent wall and decided to uplift their dismal state. Though she was devoid of any funds to support them, she herself felt that she had the Divine Providence which helped her all through her life. This selfless and endless sympathy along with kindness for the fellow beings, make her different and it is the same that earned her The Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.

Reflection Paper, on Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight, found on Movie Review

Reflection Paper, on Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight, found on www.ted.com - Movie Review Example She tells how she felt to be one with universe with the boundaries of her body merging with the environment when she had a stroke in her right brain hemisphere, and concludes her talk by saying how beautiful and peaceful she felt at that time and how we all should learn to internalize that message from our right hemisphere so that there is peace and happiness in the world (â€Å"Jill Bolte Taylor’s stroke of insight†). Bullet Points Comments The moment-by-moment description of stroke is valuable information for science. How she interprets her experiences can be a matter of contest. It seems that Jill Bolte is exaggerating a little. Memory may distort the actual events. As a scientist, Jill Bolte could have dwelled more on the scientific aspects of her experiences. The scientific facts corresponding to each and every moment of stroke experience, if narrated, might have been more informative. Even a scientist with rational thinking capabilities is prone to be subjective, when analyzing one’s own very personal realm.

Research Project Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Project - Research Paper Example Ukrainian language is related to Russian (Kubicek 2008). However, grammatically, it more closely resembles Polish and Czech. Due to the fact that Ukraine has not been integrated with Europe for over 70 years (as a result of the Soviet Union), there are few English speakers available to an â€Å"English only† tourist (Risch 2011). As such, it would be a strong recommendation to obtain a tour guide and/or hire a native speaker who could act to guide the tourist as well as negotiate prices. The culture displays many nuances that a Westerner would not fully understand unless it was explained to him/her. For instance, like many Asian cultures, Ukrainians are very prone to remove their shoes prior to entering into a house or place of employment. Slippers are often provided for guests so that they can conveniently remove their shoes while still having something to cover their feet while moving around inside. Furthermore, whereas one might be tempted to put one’s feet up on the couch or rest them on a chair, such a practice is frowned upon in Ukraine and other Eastern European countries. Similar to many Mediterranean cultures, Ukrainians often express themselves using high levels of body language. Whereas those from a more Anglo-European background would find this waving of hands and other gestures to be out of the ordinary, even rude, they are used to great effect to convey meaning, levels of irritation, expressions of finality, and frustration with a given topic or person. Due to the effects of communism, many people are non-religious and/or atheist. However, the historical strength of the Orthodox Church is gaining in influence and it is difficult to go very far without seeing the onion domes of the Orthodox churches that dot the countryside. Although the exterior of these churches do not closely mirror those that a Western European or American might be familiar with, the theology of belief is very much similar to that of the Catholic Church from which the Orthodox Church originally derived. The Orthodox Church, or more specifically the Eastern Orthodox Church (to distinguish it from its Greek counterpart) was born from the schism that resulted from the sacking of Constantinople by the Romans during the 1st Crusade (Korostelina 2011). Resultantly, the church leaders in Constantinople (currently Istanbul) decided that they no longer wanted to be considered under the same religious umbrella that Rome placed over them. Consequently, the Orthodox Church was born into existence. It is hard to over-emphasize the importance of the Orthodox Church as it relates to Eastern Europe and specifically Ukraine. This can be understood for a number of reasons but mostly due to the fact that during the days of the Russian Empire (of which Ukraine was a part), the Orthodox Church was considered on equal place with the Tsar (Velychenko 2007). One may remember seeing the double headed eagle that represented Imperial Russia. The eagles’ heads r epresent the head of the state and the head of the church (metropolitan). These metropolitans were and are similar in nature to the position that is occupied by the Pope in Rome. As such, these religious leaders held a great deal of power over the nation and the laws that affected it up until the Bolshevik Revolution. An example of

Discourse on Tamil Tigers Ideology Essay Example for Free

Discourse on Tamil Tigers Ideology Essay â€Å"I would prefer to die in honour rather than being caught alive by the enemy† (Towards Liberation 83). V. Prabakaran, leader and founder of the LTTE (Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam), said this during an exclusive interview with the magazine the â€Å"Sunday. † This statement represents how most Tamil Tigers feel about their fight for freedom. Tamil Tigers are dedicated to dying in battle rather than being caught by the enemy (Sri Lanka military). The Tamil Tigers were founded in May 1979 and they were defeated on May 18, 2009. They are still active, but they are no longer officially recognized as a terrorist organization because they don’t have a base and their leader is dead. They are a national separatist group in Sri Lanka whose ideology can be traced to Marxism, Leninism, and nationalism. The Tamil Tigers are a terrorist group that has been fighting the Sri Lanka government for independence. They are also known as the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam or LTTE. The armed conflict between the LTTE and the Sri Lankan government is one of the longest ones in Asia. The LTTE’s first attack was on a military troop transport that killed thirteen soldiers. This sparked riots against the Tamil people, which in turn, caused many youths to join insurgent groups against the Sri Lankan government. The LTTE at one point had a navy and an air force. They also had a special unit called the Black Tigers, which was a suicide unit based solely on suicide attacks. The navy has sunk 30 Sri Lankan ships, including 29 small inshore vessels and one freighter. The air force tigers had at least four aircraft, but all of them are destroyed either from suicide missions or being shot down. The Black Tigers have carried out between 100 to 200 missions with over 330 members being killed. The Tamil Tigers believe in Marxism. They want a socialist and classless society with equality for â€Å"everyone†, but Muslims and Sinhalese people. In fact, the LTTE has committed several massacres against Muslims and Sinhalese people. Their most notable attack on Muslims is the Kattankudy mosque massacre which occurred on August 4 1990. LTTE soldiers raided four mosques during prayer and killed 147 Muslim men and boys. It appears the Tamil Tigers want a Marxist society, but only for the Tamil people. Several times in the LTTE’s history they have evicted Muslims and Sinhalese from their land and either killed them or forced them to leave. Since 1985, the LTTE has forcibly occupied 35,000 acres of Muslim-owned land. This is what the Tamil Tigers believe Marxism is; equality for one group and not the others. Just as the LTTE believe in Marxism they also believe in a similar ideology called Leninism. The main concept the LTTE believe in from Leninism is that a nation has a right to secession and statehood (Towards Liberation 64). Lenin once said, From their daily experience the masses know perfectly well the value of geographical and economic ties and the advantages of a big market and a big state. They will, therefore, resort to secession only when national oppression and national friction make joint life absolutely intolerable and hinder any and all economic intercourse. In that case, the interests of capitalist development and of the freedom of the class struggle will be best served by secession (Towards Liberation 70). Lenin said this in his essay The Right of Nations of Self-Determination and the Tamil Tigers included it in one of their press releases. The Tamils believe that they should be able to secede from Sri Lanka and make their own independent state. They feel that their population is large enough to have their own state. They also believe that they will have the economic stability to function as a nation. The Tamils wish to create a state in north and east Sri Lanka, but the Sri Lanka government won’t allow them to. One reason they won’t allow them to create a state is that region is to rich in resources to give up. In addition to Marxism and Leninism, the LTTE also believe in nationalism. This is probably their strongest belief, where most of their roots as a terrorist organization come from, and what they are fighting for. To be specific, the LTTE believes in a specific type of nationalism called Tamil nationalism. Tamil nationalism is the concept that the Tamil people have a right to create an independent and self-governing state, specifically in North and East Sri Lanka. (See map on last page) As you can see from this map, the majority of the people living in the area the Tamil people want to make a state are Tamil. There is one district where ninety-five percent of people living there are Tamil. That means ninety-five percent of people living in that district want to break away from Sri Lanka. The area shown on blue in the map is roughly the area that the LTTE controls. The majority of the people in those districts, excluding the thirty-four percent and eighteen percent districts, support the LTTE. The concept of Tamil nationalism began in the 18th century under British control when Tamil Hindus tried to counter Protestant missionary activity. Later in the 20th century, the Tamils realized they were a minority ethnic group and began to believe they should have their own country. At first, the Tamils tried to get equal representation in the government along with other minorities, but it never happened. Since this did not work, Tamil terrorist groups, like the LTTE, formed. The insurgent groups formed to fight for Tamil nationalism. All in all, the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam are a national separatist group based in Sri Lanka. Their ideology has roots in Marxism, Leninism, and nationalism. The Tamil Tigers have been recognized by 32 countries as a terrorist organization. They believe in the Marxist idea of a classless society, the Leninist idea of a nation’s right to secede, and nationalism.

Beyond Bourgeois Gentrification Essay Example for Free

Beyond Bourgeois Gentrification Essay We’ve all seen those new work-live artist loft spaces in the remodeled industrial complexes next to the new galleries, cafes and office buildings that used to be factories, low-income housing tenements or warehouses. They look chic and modern while still trying to maintain their urban appeal. However, what does gentrification mean in our post-industrial urban society and how should we address its contradictory standing? According to the PBS special Flag Wars: What is Gentrification, it is the â€Å"general term for the arrival of wealthier people in an existing urban district, a related increase in rents and property values, and changes in the districts character and culture (Grant). In this vein, we can read gentrification from two perspectives. The first would be from the point of view of the newly arrived ‘wealthier people’ who see this process as an investment in urban renewal that brings down crime rates and increases the economic cultural capital of what was once a neglected and impoverished neighborhood. On the other hand, gentrification as seen from the perspective of the original community is thought of as another form of economic and geographic discrimination and exclusion due to the increase in rent and property values as well as the overall cost of living. The issue of urban displacement results in an unbalanced benefit for the already economically advantaged. UNESCO recently published an article concerning this contradiction: â€Å"Building projects become the centre piece of the city’s economy, justified by job creation, taxes, tourism and the building of large cultural complexes† (Smith). What makes this such a divisive issue and halts community building is that much of the new investment comes from the social class that fled to the suburbs during the white-flight era of urbanization. After fleeing to the suburbs due to a discomfort of having to live so close to other racial and ethnic populations, there is now a distrust of the new inhabitants by the pre-existing urban population who are being forced out of their own neighborhoods. So we must ask ourselves how we can overcome this contradictory social movement in a way that will be mutually beneficial to all involved parties. The best way to accomplish this would be to invite community dialogue in an effort to address all sides of the issue. An interesting study put out by the Urban Institute echoes this sentiment. They emphasize the need for â€Å"strategies used by nonprofit organizations, for-profit developers, and city agencies to ensure low- to-moderate-income residents can live in revitalizing and gentrifying neighborhoods† (Levy). This is essential in order make sure that all voices can be heard so that more than just money talks. If this can be done, urban renewal can be embraced and cultural diversity can flourish in a vibrant new community based on shared principles and the exchange of different ideas. We must abandon the notion that gentrification is either positive or negative, as many people have argued in the past. Gentrification is a social process that affects us all differently depending on our own cultural context. That being the case, let us open the discussion to the public at large so that everyone has an equal say in how their community will develop. Urban transformation is a constant presence that we need to shape into a vision of the future that we would all like to live in. References Grant, Benjamin. (2003). What is Gentrification?. PBS Flag Wars. Retrieved November 30, 2008, from http://www. pbs. org/pov/pov2003/flagwars/special Levy, Diane, Comey, Jennifer, Padilla, Sandra. (2006). In the Face of Gentrification. Urban Institute. Retrieved November 30, 2008, from http://www. urban. org/publications/411294. html Smith, Neil. (2007). From Gentrification to Forced Eviction – how should economic competitiveness be reconciled with social sustainability in historical districts?. United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization. Retrieved November 30, 2008, from http://portal. unesco. org/shs/en/ev. php

The Solow Swan model of economic growth

The Solow Swan model of economic growth 1.0 Purpose Examine aspects of the Solow-Swan model of economic growth and identify whether capital accumulation has been the cause for growth in the cases of South Korea and Australia. 2.0 The Solow-Swan Model in brief The model shows how growth in capital stock (KM) and labour (L) affect economic growth (Y). It assumes that there is diminishing marginal returns for labour and capital considered separately as inputs and constant returns to scale when taken together. Mathematically, this is expressed as: Y = AK ÃŽ ± L 1-ÃŽ ± (from Cobb-Douglas Production function, where Y= National Income, K=Capital, L= Labour, A= Total Factor Productivity and 0

Sarah Weddington: Roe vs. Wade :: Essays Papers

Sarah Weddington: Roe vs. Wade St. Olaf College's theme for Women's History Month is "Women in Politics." The featured guest speaker was Sarah Weddington, the attorney who, in 1973, argued the winning side of Roe vs. Wade before the United States Supreme Court. This decision significantly influenced women's reproductive rights by overturning the Texas interpretation of abortion law and making abortion legal in the United States. The Roe vs. Wade decision held that a woman, with her doctor, could choose abortion in earlier months of pregnancy without restriction, and with restrictions in later months, based on the right to privacy. It invalidated all state laws limiting women's access to abortions during the first trimester of pregnancy based on the Ninth Amendment to the United States Constitution, a part of the Bill of Rights. The Court's decision in this case was that the Ninth Amendment, "the enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people," protected a person's right to privacy. The alias "Jane Roe" was used for Norma McCorvey, on whose behalf the suit was originally filed, alleging that the abortion law in Texas violated her constitutional rights and the rights of other women. The defendant was the district attorney of Dallas County, Texas, Henry B. Wade. Sarah Weddington and Linda Coffee were the plaintiff's lawyers. John Tolle, Jay Floyd and Robert Flowers were the defendant's lawyers. Those on the Supreme Court in support of the Roe vs. Wade decision were: Harry Blackmun, William J. Brennan, Chief Justice Warren Burger, William O. Douglas, Thurgood Marshall, Lewis Powell and Potter Stewart. Those in the dissent were William Rehnquist and Byron White. Although abortion has been legal for more than 30 years, the Roe vs. Wade decision is currently in jeopardy of being overturned by the Bush administration. Weddington divulged her personal fears about the decision being overturned by the court on any grounds. She stated that the damage will be long lasting and many women will suffer. Currently, there is a big effort by those opposed to abortion to give the fetus rights. Recent Bush administration regulations want to declare that a fetus is a child under the government's State Children's Health Insurance Program. This change would refute one of Weddington's arguments in Roe vs. Wade that the government has never treated the fetus as a person.

Galileo Essay -- essays research papers

Galileo "Whereas Galileo spent his last days under house arrest and was formally condemned by the Church for his scientific views, the elder Darwin was widely respected by the Anglican Church and was buried at the Westminster Abbey, an honor reserved for only the most illustrious personages of Great Britain. The reason for the two scientists' very different fortunes is simple: Galileo couldn't prove the Copernican hypothesis but Darwin was able to demonstrate the truth of his theory of evolution." In the world of Galileo proof was what was needed to succeed with a scientific hypothesis. In the world of Darwin proof was not needed for a scientific hypothesis to succeed. There were many differences in the worlds of these two great scientists that lead to the reaction to their respective scientific hypothesize. It was not their beliefs alone that led to their peer's views it was also the way each of them conducted themselves. Galileo worked his way to become a respected scientist by most of the intellectual community but he was also despised by many because of his background and because of his attitude towards others. Darwin was well respected by the intellectual community, but the difference was the way they conducted themselves when they were dealing with their hypothesizes. Galileo's Hypothesis Galileo was well known for standing up for what he believed in and pushing the things he wanted. He was constantly writing letters and engaging in debates over the issue of Copernicanism. Galileo's entire reason for doing this was to make the scientific and religious communities accept that Copernicanism was actually a fact and that there was enough proof to believe it. One example of the way Galileo strongly pushed his beliefs on others was the way he preached Copernicanism to the people of Rome in 1615. While he was in Rome trying to improve the church's opinion of him, Galileo was also debating the Aristotelians over this issue and beating them at their own game. Because of his natural talent for debate and because of his intelligence was able to outwit the Aristotelians in these debates. Galileo acted this way because he believed that he was in a position to make these kinds of statements without getting on the wrong side of the church. These actions show that Galileo was very insistent upon his ideas and upon what othe... ...did not have to be subject to the approval of the Catholic Church. Darwin and Galileo were very different men who are both remembered as great scientists of their times. While Galileo was condemned for his efforts Darwin was remembered as a hero. This was because of their different methods of presenting their ideas. Galileo was a fighter who would not back down from a fight until he was pitted against the Vatican and faced with excommunication. He tactics caused many people to despise him in his time, which lead to the ban of his book on Copernicanism. While Darwin preferred to work in his home and have others fight his battles for him. It was because of Darwin's passive promotion of his book that he made very few enemies when compared to Galileo. If Galileo was more like Darwin he may have been better off at the time of his death. While much of the Copernican theory is know as fact now there is still a debate over Darwinism. This is because it has yet to be proven definitively. Darwin was still honored for his contribution of this theory because he did it in a scientific manner and did not impose his opinion onto others.

Essay --

Introduction The Hedge fund industry is surrounded by many debate and controversy. Lack of excessive returns, unclear impact, oversight on the market are all subjects of concerns for the public and market participants. The hedge fund industry worries small investors and financial professional who do not know how to accurately assess the risks associated with hedge funds. Hedge funds are mainly operating like mutual funds but not the managers. Oversight and low regulation allow them to not make public information on their profits and losses or investment strategies. Hedge funds rely a lot on volumes to achieve profits. Systemic risk became a major part of the debate since LTCM in 1998. Story of LTCM Background Long Term Capital Management - LTCM - was a hedge fund that was established in 1994 by John Meriwether who was a successful bond trader at Salomon Brothers. Meriwether was one of the first on Wall Street who hired professors and academics who applied models based on financial theories to trading. This team demonstrated an ability to precisely calculate risk and generated amazing returns (Goldberg, M., 2012). The partners of LTCM included a professor from Harvard University, Nobel Price-winning economists, a former vice president of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve, and other successful bond traders. This group of traders and academics attracted about $1.3 billion from different institutional clients (Goldberg, M., 2012). Investors were not allowed to take any money out for three years and paid $10 million to get into the fund. Annual return in 1995 was 42.8% after management took 27% off the top in fees. In 1997 LTCM successfully hedged most of the risk from the Asian currency crisis by ... ...ge (Goldberg, 2012). Should the Fed have intervened? In order to save the U.S. banking system, the President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York William McDonough convinced 15 banks to bail out LTCM with $3.5 billion, in return for a 90% ownership of the fund. Also, the Fed started lowering the Fed funds rate as a assurance to investors that the Fed would do whatever it took to support the U.S. economy. Without that direct interference, the entire financial system was threatened with a collapse (Amadeo, 2012). However, the Fed brokered and intervened a better deal for the LTCM managers and shareholders. This was the precedent for the Federal Reserve's bailout role with AIG, Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac during the financial crisis. Once financial companies realized that the Fed would bail them out, they were more willing to take risks (Amadeo, 2012).

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 13. Knowledge

I weaved my way down my driveway while imagining all the ways I could bring myself closer to Bella. Just to lightly touch her hair, to hold her close to me like I did so carelessly after the accident, or to bring her warm lips to mine†¦I trailed off in thought as the fantasy went visual. Enough, I ordered, though I was aching to feel the warmth of her rich skin. Enough. When I reached the end of the drive I knew what to expect, though, the insults that continued at maximum capacity fissured my nerves. Idiot! Jackass! Lunatic! I really hope you are happy! If I have to move again†¦, Rosalie was seething belligerence. The vivid image she thrust on my mind was my Vanquish being catastrophically driven off a ravine. I sighed and shook my head trying to dispel her thoughts, but after living with her for this long I'd learned to hum a tune or ignore her internal muttering, even when she was screaming at the top of her mental lungs and making the visual pictures more devastating. After watching all of the possible ways she would crash my car over and over in her head I realized that it didn't matter. It was Bella who was ultimately significant now. Her silent thoughts ?C how warm and trusting she is. Ah, I thought gleefully. My mental distraction worked perfectly. I sat in the car, my fingers still wrapped tightly on the steering wheel as I thought about going back. I inhaled deeply at her scent that was still lingering in the car. White hot knives cut down my throat, but I embraced it, content that I was satiated for the moment. A thought disrupted my internal blitheness. Boy, do you have some explaining to do. â€Å"Emmett,† I muttered, though I was grateful he had forgiven me of my actions so quickly. His low chuckle came from inside the house as he over took Jasper's knight in a game of chess. I had to deal with this now. I couldn't go see her until my family was resolved, though, honestly, I should never go back. Her life would be the better for it ?C she would have a life to live. Carlisle's car was parked next to Rosalie's M3. I sighed in relief. If he was here, then maybe Rosalie would be on her best behavior. More thoughts filled my mind bringing me back to the present. It was time to confront my family about the secrets that Bella logically pieced together. I finally persuaded myself into going inside to speak with Carlisle. Alice's thoughts interrupted my anxiety filled mind. I hope you've reconsidered your plans for the weekend. I love her, too. Her internal cry was a lament. I twitched slightly under the impact of the earlier vision. I tried to expunge her thoughts from my mind as my stomach began to twist in pain. Absurd ?C it was a lie, impossible. I would never hurt Bella†¦would I? Bella†¦in my arms†¦cold, white, dead†¦ The thoughts were inconceivable. Alice was blind or confused somehow, the vision insurmountable. The pain swiftly took me under – it felt like my body was burning from the inside out, almost as if the pain of her death would literally make me combust. I gave Alice a grave look. â€Å"You're wrong.† My tone was hollow. Please, Edward! Alice begged. I could feel every degree of love she had for her. She doesn't even know her ?C her love was nonexistent compared to mine. I sighed. But doesn't everyone have that reaction to her? Hadn't I? Didn't I risk everything just to save her life so I could observe her; watch her sleep at night? My need to speak with Carlisle was growing at an immense rate. He would have answers. He always knew what to do. I marched past Alice where she was sitting on the stairs, her face rested on her hands, her lower lip jutting out slightly from her upper. I ignored her pouting, knowing it was because of her vision that was bringing her into this trepidation. And her vision was wrong. I clenched my teeth together as I spoke, making my words almost incoherent â€Å"I'm strong.† I'm brave enough, I tried to convince myself. â€Å"I won't hurt her, Alice. Your vision is impossible!† I'm begging you, she continued to plead. Her anguish was beginning to weigh on me. I shoved her mental insight from me viciously. How could I possibly bring death to her? I wanted ?C no ?C I needed Bella. The necessity to hold her, my hunger†¦my thirst for her was exponentially growing at a sizable intensity. But, it wasn't my thirst that I was craving the most; I desired for her, longed for the face, the voice, that accompanied the fragrance. I moved swiftly up the stairs so quick, in fact, a normal human wouldn't have seen me. Slowly opening the door to my potential sentencing I entered Carlisle's office. His face was so close to the book he was reading that his nose was nearly touching the pages. Association between PPI's and spontaneous bacterial peritonitis†¦His eyes moved up the page until they left the book flowing upward towards my face which was perfectly mirrored in his eyes. Guilt was resolutely displayed across my face. I looked away. Esme, joyfully flitting around the room, was re-organizing the bookshelves in effort to make room for new books Carlisle had just purchased. She caught my glance when I entered the room. Edward!She beamed. She didn't consciously think her name but to some extent of reasoning her mind was radiating the essence of Bella's presence that always accompanied me. The fond attachment she had formed for Bella, without ever meeting her, brought a hazardous new light upon being with her. If it were up to Esme, Bella would already be transformed into a vampire. My obvious love was enough for her to wish this often, though she would never voice her desires. Each second I grew closer to Bella was another second that was being taken from her life. My thirst. My love for her. Which one was stronger? Would they intermingle and make her a vampire? Risky. My thought was fleeting because I knew that I wouldn't leave her alone and that I wouldn't change her. What was the future, her fate? The internal struggle of her inevitable future began nagging at me almost as bad as Rosalie thought's that were now blaring in my head. This wasn't something I could run from. Maybe Carlisle would have the answer. The strong desire for advice wasn't approaching quick enough. I was growing impatient at all the courtesies. Hello Edward. His mental tone showed no inflection that he knew of Bella's knowledge. Good; Rosalie kept her trap shut, another surprise on top of the already growing pile of shocking news that I seemed to be attracting. Would this news, this information, prove my malefaction? Now that I was standing here, ready to concede my guilt to him, I didn't know what to say, speech wouldn't form. How do you tell someone you deeply care for, more than that, your creator†¦your father that you betrayed their family ?C my family ?C for a mere human girl? But to me she wasn't just ahuman girl – she was thehuman girl, the only one that ever truly mattered. Carlisle read my expression, his thoughts scattering in every direction, dancing in his mind before he settled on being alarmed at my facial expression. My calm fa?ade must have faded. What is it Edward? What is wrong? Is Bella†¦his thoughts trailed off, but I knew the direction they were heading. Luckily, his concern for that subject was unnecessary. For now. â€Å"Carlisle, I†¦she†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I hesitated, pausing. I didn't know how to tell my family, those who loved me the most, that I was Judas made flesh. A betrayer. Carlisle raised an eyebrow at my state of irresolution. â€Å"Edward? Is everything all right?† he asked incredulously, bringing attention to our conversation. Esme turned at his words, bringing her thoughts and concentration to the open dialog. Ignoring their stares I continued to sway on the spot, standing there with my mouth halfway open like a gold fish out of water gasping for air. The words failed me. Would this, of all things, break their faith in me? No one had so absolutely guessed our secret before, learned our truths. If my heart was alive, beating, I swear even a human would be able to hear it. There was only venom in my veins ?C the one thing that would inevitably bring Bella to her death. Death. No, this couldn't be the end. Her knowledge wouldn't condemn her, I refused. Would this be Carlisle's conclusion, just like it had been for the rest of the family? I would fight against them, if this is what they decided. â€Å"Edward?† Esme prodded. I had to tell them what she knew; no doubt Rosalie will make sure they were aware if I didn't confess this soon. It's better if they hear it from me, but still, the words wouldn't escape my lips. How do you confess a betrayal? It's much more difficult than I thought it would be. Feeling guilty, Edward? Rosalie sneered mentally. What a surprise! I can't believe you. Once again I had to shove Rosalie's thoughts from my mind. The barrier was harder to put into place when my concentration was being pulled in so many directions. Besides the aggressively hostile nature of Rosalie, everyone else was silent, the dead air making it evident that everyone was eavesdropping at this ultimate of pivotal moments, surely waiting to hear my betrayal, or ultimately deciding her fate for me. None of them dared to think it. Not now. Not after I had already fought so hard to keep her alive. I inhaled a generous gulp of air. Esme's anxious look continued to grow deeper. What is it? Please tell us, she thought tentatively. Only a brief second had passed before I finally bowed my head downward as if I were admitting a great shame and delivered the words I was terrified would hurt my family. Judas had nothing on me. I sunk into the nearest chair. â€Å"Bella†¦well, she†¦she knows, Carlisle.† I had never struggled with words like I did when Bella was involved. His eyes grew wide, his thoughts in an uproar of intense confusion and concern. Bella knows? About us? She knows about us? †¦ â€Å"Edward, what is going on? Is everything okay? Should I be worried?† Carlisle's thoughts spilled from his mouth like a stream of water, so rapid I didn't have time to respond to one of them. At the same time I brought my glance to his and he focused on my blameworthy expression. He observed my look and then reassured himself that I hadn't done something foolish. Boy was he wrong. This all happened in a tenth of a second. My mind still hadn't fully comprehended all his thoughts. Of course I shouldn't be worried, everything will be fine. Okay. Now, â€Å"what exactly does Bella know?† he asked, zealous. I ignored his enthusiasm at the prospect of Bella knowing our secret. Was it an act? Surely my words would cut deeper in a minute. He hadn't really had time to settle on the thought. â€Å"She knows everything about me!† About us, I amended internally. â€Å"She put the pieces together and I just†¦I couldn't keep lying to her.† I figured the truth would be better than lies right now. Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't tell her himself. Carlisle contemplated mentally. The way she has changed him†¦I can't describe it. She would be his perfect pairing. Why not change her? he murmured in thought. Excellent, Esme beamed. Was she excited about this news too? Was this not the huge betrayal I thought it would be? â€Å"She is the best thing that has ever happened to you, Edward.† Carlisle cut into my thoughts. â€Å"I'm so glad she knows,† he whispered softly to me. â€Å"It was to be expected. But now, maybe it's time to move to the next step.† My head snapped up. Esme nodded in agreement. â€Å"Next step?† I shouted. â€Å"Move to the next step?† Was this the conclusion? An immortal life? I couldn't be responsible for such a brutal act. It felt like a brick was sliding down my throat into the pit of my stomach. â€Å"You want me to what†¦ask her to die?† I shot up like a bottle rocket. â€Å"Ask her if she wished to be doomed to go to hell? Are you insane?† The thought of her burning with the fiery thirst day by day or the first initial three days of begging for death as her veins burned with venom ?C my venom ?C nearly sent me over the edge. I was hoping beyond hope that this would not come to some sort of vote like what nearly happened after I saved her from the van. To make her into the appalling creature that I am or bring on her early death†¦no, there is another option. There has to be. I looked to Carlisle. If anyone's opinion mattered it would be his. He froze for just a fraction of a second and then sighed heavily. I studied him for a few seconds, apprehension etched into my face, easily reflected in his golden eyes. Also, I could see my face from two viewpoints perfectly. There it was, my pain jerking down the corners of my lips. â€Å"I can't imagine hurting her, bringing her to her death.† â€Å"If it's a matter of self control†¦I can offer my services,† Carlisle proposed. â€Å"A vampire, forever frozen at seventeen†¦forever doomed to our existence.† Carlisle flinched at my words. â€Å"I just can't†¦you can't! How can either of you possibly think her knowledge of our existence a good thing when this is the conclusion?† I shouted. There were a few murmured agreements throughout the house. Jasper was quiet but thought the next step or death should be the only options. But, after Alice's request he seemed to try his best to keep his thoughts to himself. â€Å"Who is to say she couldn't live out her mortal life?† I paused, chagrin obvious in my tone. â€Å"I haven't killed her.† But I could. So easily. But you haven't killed her, you even saved her life, I thought to myself, the little devil sitting on my shoulder. Not yet, I amended. The guilt was plainly splayed across my face. Couldn't Carlisle tell I was scarcely clutching onto my humanity – just barely by my fingertips when I was around the sweet seduction of Bella's blood and her enticing pulse? Each second around her was like crawling through the desert and happening upon water that was poisonous. So seductive. If being human is what you wish for her and you feel that you can't offer this†¦then maybe this is the time to leave. Carlisle offered as a choice. He saw me flinch and changed tact. I just don't want you to make a mistake by denying yourself your true mate by keeping her human. He spoke silently to me.†If you wish to keep her human, then that is your decision. We will not demand her death, or her transformation.† Carlisle added, trying to calm my frenzied nerves. At the same time he was letting everyone in the house know this was his final word. And they are to abide by it. No deaths, no transformations. The end. â€Å"You have amazing self control. I believe that you will make the right decision.† Shock. Yes, that was the emotion I was feeling; stunned, surprised, astonished†¦I looked up and stared at him incredulously. Even if I did decide to change her, I wouldn't have the strength to stop myself from drinking her dry. Just thinking about the luscious taste on my lips sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine. How could he possibly believe that this whole situation is a good idea? Dread flowed through my frozen veins as the thought of hurting the delicate flower of a girl, Bella, entered my mind. I tried to expunge the images that Alice had embossed into my brain, for they seemed to be coming to the surface at this conversation. I wasn't the only one surprised and outraged by his responses to it all, how easily Carlisle just accepted this bit of news like he knew it was going to happen all along. Rosalie, working on her car, had thrown a wrench down and walked away, muttering choice swear words under her breath. Jasper coughed – something a vampire would never need to do – while breaking part of the chess piece he was holding. He knew of the danger this could possibly cause us all. Then there were those two thoughts that were unsurprised, actually elated. Alice, for obvious reasons, predicted this future. She loved Bella, human or vampire. Esme, who didn't care if Bella had four fingers and crossed eyes, was smiling at me. Her thoughts were content, pleased at this news, even though a sturdier Bella, in her mind, would be the better choice. There was only one neutral thought. â€Å"Next time we'll use your chess set,† Emmett muttered to Jasper. Though, I knew if it came to sides, he would choose Rosalie's. Before I responded to Carlisle's words Esme's thoughts protruded into my head. I wonder when I can meet her. I turned and gave Esme a withering look. â€Å"Why are you guys doing this to me?† Derision was obvious in my voice. â€Å"If I stay with her†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I needed to leave her alone. She needs to live a mortal life, one that I can not offer her. â€Å"I could kill her.† My face screwed up in pain at the word kill. It's been months, Edward. She's still alive. You can do this, I have faith in you, Carlisle thought. My hands were trembling slightly as fear pulsed through me. Faith, I scoffed. Esme approached me swiftly and embraced me, all fear flooded from my body at her gentle touch. Carlisle approached me and Esme let go as he placed his hand on my shoulder and thought sympathetically; everything will be all right, son. It was silent for a minute, as everyone let the news sink in. â€Å"So, what did you tell Bella?† Carlisle asked, intrigued now. Our previous conversation was now in the distant past. Everything I was doing seemed so human lately. I sank lower into the chair as if it were my only support after being deflated. â€Å"I didn't tell her, Carlisle, she guessed. She guessed everything, even my little talent of reading minds!† Carlisle's thoughts were incoherent with surprise; his words spiraled together and were muddled so I continued. â€Å"I only filled in the blanks, which were not many. She is much more perceptive than I realized†¦Ã¢â‚¬  My voice trailed off and I slumped even lower into the chair. I had made so many mistakes. I then remembered what she had told me about her trip to First Beach. â€Å"Then her little friend Jacob Black†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Before I could get another word out Carlisle already knew exactly what had happen. Jacob†¦Black. Oh! â€Å"The Quileute's?† I nodded. Oh†¦ I see. He chuckled.†I never thought it would be their side to break the treaty! Oh, of course, I know it couldn't have been meant like that, surely he doesn't think the stories are true.† he shook is head. This house became silent, not a word or thought formed for several spiraling seconds. When the curtain of silent thoughts became louder then thoughts themselves, I finally looked up to try to interpret Carlisle's face since his mind had become nothing more than a bewildered mental humming. The astonishment on his alabaster face was humorous. Before I could make my mouth move to ask the question I seemed to be asking more and more lately, what are you thinking, Carlisle began to chuckle at full volume. He was truly taken aback, but this news hadn't bothered him at all. His mind was stunned into silence as flashes of Bella went through – all from that almost tragic day with the van. I couldn't take the ever-growing silence emanating off the walls. â€Å"What?† I asked with irritation. Carlisle shot Esme a look. Go on,Esme thought while nodding to Carlisle to continue, as if he could read her thoughts. He finally spoke. â€Å"How did she react?† â€Å"She said, ‘it doesn't matter' what I am,† my teeth gritted at the memory, and then my expression softened when I remembered the tears that welled up in her eyes at my reaction. Another mistake. â€Å"She won't tell anyone?† he asked. â€Å"No. I trust her.† At my look, he accepted my answer without a doubt. â€Å"Edward, this cannot be a coincidence. There is a real change happening here.† Carlisle chuckled once more. Esme put her arm around Carlisle and a large grin gradually spread across her face. My parents were†¦ happy, excessively, even. I hadn't predicted the conversation going in this direction at all. I was given the impression that everything was happening very fast. The monster in me began backing into the darkest corners of my mind, gradually dissipating as I was becoming more and more human the more familiar I became with Bella. What should I do? I know what I should do; it was a matter of what I was going to do.I knew what the answer should be. I need to leave her alone. Even if I can cage the monster for the time, it is not likely I can keep him caged forever. Yes, I have my family for support, but that won't stop me from accidently hurting her. I had to leave, as Carlisle suggested. I placed my hand over my eyes and slouched even deeper in the chair. If I sunk down any lower I'd fall right off of it. Then thought of her deep chocolate brown eyes looking at me with tears as I said goodbye made my un-beating heart ache. The memory of her tear stained face flashed across my mind. Would she cry? If I left, would she even care? She shouldn't. I sighed. She really does embrace danger, or maybe the right word was Entice. I thought about Alice's vision. I pinched the bridge of my nose at the recollection. The more I thought about it the harder it was for me to imagine being alone with her without breaking or damaging her. Why did Alice put these thoughts in my head? I don't want to hurt Bella, but I don't know how much more I could take! Being in Bella's presence with the aroma, her warmth†¦so brave and trusting†¦ not touching her was going to become a problem. Her skin – so soft†¦electric. I started imaging her warm and cradled comfortably in my arms – lightly touching her face and pulling my hands through her hair. Before I could get too deep into that daydream I had to make a decision and fast. Regardless of what my decision should be, I was a selfish creature and refused to go. Leaving the girl isn't an option, I decided. She was a danger to herself and she needed me to protect her, I lied effortlessly. I shook my head as I ultimately determined I was still going to take her to the meadow. I will give her the chance to see me for who I am, I promised myself. Maybe she would finally learn how dangerous I am and run away screaming. I won't kill her, though. I love her. I tried to convince myself that love was enough. The love I felt for her was so exquisite it was nearly pain because I knew there were only two options left for her now. No, those won't be her only options. I will make this work. Three options. She could grow old and live out her life, but with me in tow. Only a few seconds had passed during my reprieve. Carlisle and Esme looked fixedly at me. Their confidence in me was overwhelming. They honestly believed in me, trusted that I wouldn't hurt her. Maybe Judas did have the corner on the betrayal market. As I saw the conviction in their faces, something deep inside of me settled. I stood up, surveyed their loving faces and the inner workings of my brain and my non-beating heart finally accepted her fate. Option three. She will live, I'll look after her and she will live, I determined. As long as I was around, no one would ever harm her because I would break them limb from limb if they even attempted, or even if they possibly thought it. Her vampire protector. Forever. â€Å"It seems I can't stay away from her.† I grimaced, but deep inside I was glowing. I don't want him to stay away from her; he's been a different person since she came into his life,Esme thought cheerfully. Carlisle grinned, his thoughts in sync with Esme. I sighed, but the sound wasn't as pained as before. It was almost†¦joyous. Striding swiftly from the room I realized it was no longer silent in the house. I could hear faint mutterings from Rosalie. Instantly I shoved her constant jeering from my mind. Deep down, Rosalie's problem with Bella really was pure jealousy. She hated that Bella was human because she wanted to be human. But I thought her warm, trusting humanness was Bella's best quality. Edward!Alice bellowed from her head while skipping up the stairs towards me. The cloudy, blurry vision from earlier today was instantly clear. No longer did she see Bella's lifeless form lying in the bracken of the forest floor. My eyes no longer glowed that ominous red. When she reached me at the top of the stairs she grinned widely while practically jumping on me to wrap her tiny arms around my neck. â€Å"Thank you, Edward!† Alice was jubilant. I nodded and returned her hug, releasing her quickly because I was on a mission. Have fun at Bella's. I suppose you won't tell her hi for me, will you? For the first time since I entered the house this afternoon, my lips twitched up into a smile, completely opposite from my previous grimace. My stomach was doing back flips at the thought of being with her again. I couldn't stand being away from her any longer. I dashed through the forest towards her house as if someone was lighting a fire beneath my feet. As I took off I heard faded thoughts from Alice. I wonder what happened to change the vision? I hope Edward starts letting me hang out with her. Just two more days†¦She was counting down. Then I saw images of her dressing a blushing Bella up and playing with her hair like she was a doll. I rolled my eyes, but instantly craved for this to come true. I was sitting in the rocking chair in Bella's room. Her warm delicious scent was swirling around me and I was sucking it slowly into my lungs with each breath. I was willing myself to stay away from her. A feat much harder than one would realize. Tonight, she was not sleeping soundly. I watched as she tangled herself into the blankets early on in the evening. I stood. Realizing I was unable to help her, I sat. The chair was my prison, holding me in my seat. She was the dessert across the table from a kid who had to eat broccoli. The temptation would never go away, yet each second I grew stronger against my will to rush over and hold her. I couldn't allow myself to do something so foolish. It was about her now. What she wants, what she needs. I had to toss my selfishness away as best I could, even though my presence was selfish enough. She tossed again. I got up once more, my hands reaching out like I could help. My touch was too cold†¦wrong. I seated myself back into my prison. I sighed. With the quick intake of air the burning persisted in my dry throat. Each breath brought me pleasure and torture. Mainly torture, though her scent reminded me of how alive she is. â€Å"Edward†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she mumbled in her sleep. This was not the first time this evening that she murmured my name in her sweet magical voice. Each sound or movement was watched by me as she continued to tangle herself in the sheets. I couldn't help but worry that she wasn't having a good dream. I was a monster after all. She woke a few times in the night, startled from her dream ?C or nightmare ?C but I was stealthy enough to hide. She never caught me but I wondered what she would think if she did. Would she finally scream? Would she shriek at the sight of the peeping tom that I had become? Would she turn her deep gaze towards me and beg me to leave and never come back?Anguish fell over me at the thought. This must be why I continued to hide every time I saw her eyes flutter. She tossed again, holding her pillow tightly while a small sigh escaped her lips. â€Å"Edward†¦mmmmm.† Once again my heart leapt at the sound of my name on her breath. As the night progressed she settled into a deeper sleep, finally calm and unmoving. In the earlier hours of the morning I saw her shudder and watched as goose bumps arose on her skin. Without thought I was standing, walking over to her, leaning down, hand out stretched before my mind finally caught up with my actions. Indecision was deep in my thoughts. Another breath. More fiery thirst. I wasn't sure if it was the monster or my protective side, but without thinking I reached out to unravel her blanket to cover her. As I slowly moved the blanket over her I accidently touched her arm. Or was it an accident? It was if a million little electrodes sent pleasant shocks down my spine. I closed me eyes to take in her aroma. She was soft†¦warm. I quickly held my breath but realized that if I were going to stay with her that I had to overcome my thirst, my ever growing desire to crush her to my body and dig my teeth deep into her neck. Another breath. My mouth was instantly full of venom. The monster inside of me was clawing at my chest bones, trying to break free of my body and drink the most delicious blood that ever existed. I grabbed at my chest trying to push the monster back in when suddenly I felt something vibrate. It was my phone. Alice. I swallowed the pool of venom pouring into my mouth. Leaping out of her window I answered the phone. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say hello Alice began pleading in her bell voice. â€Å"Edward! Please!† My hand automatically met the bridge of my nose. She was my favorite and the most irritating of my family. She continued without pause. â€Å"I keep getting flashes of you killing Bella! If you kill her I will be very upset. I haven't even had the opportunity to talk to her,† her voice was petulant. I gritted my teeth and breathed in the light morning air around me. The fresh air cleared my head making the monster retreat. How had I let things get out of hand? Why did I have to put my hand in the cookie jar? â€Å"Alice,† I breathed. She interjected. â€Å"Please, just be careful, Edward! Your future has been changing erratically†¦I never know what is going to happen with you anymore.† I could almost hear her pout. I sighed because she was right. The easy flow of my future had taken a wild spin and even I couldn't tell her what my plans were from day to day anymore. â€Å"I won't hurt her, Alice,† I said with chagrin. â€Å"You better not!† It was a command. â€Å"I'll see you soon.† She hung up the phone. I groaned. Was I really that close? I didn't think I was. Looking back up at her window I decided it was okay for me to check on her ?C just one more time ?C tonight. Her small chest was moving up and down evenly along with her steady breath. She was still sound asleep. Safe. Her protector kept her free from danger. But didn't protect her from himself, I growled internally. I was going to have to work on that. The light of a new day began to peak over the tops of the trees, sending blue tints across the grey clouds that accompanied the sky. My mind was racing around with what this new day would bring me as I was soaring through the forest at a ferocious velocity back towards home. The questions I would ask her†¦the responses I would receive. To just dive in and understand her mind, to know what she was thinking. My thirst instantly became secondary to her knowing mind. My curiosity was aching like a thirst. Thirst, I thought warily. I needed to hunt. I needed more blood to help dilute the intense sensations that came over when I was around Bella. I'd do it now, while I was out ?C one more time ?C just in case it wasn't true after all, that my ravenous desire to have her was second to her. I closed my eyes, letting my nose take over. Deer, I groaned. Ugh. I still raced towards it and quenched my ever burning throat, letting the warm blood soak into my dry and frozen throat. Gluttonous. That is what I had become. If I shook myself you might even hear the blood slosh around in me. But, there was no blood that would ease this ache†¦this hollow yearning. I pushed the animal off of me with disgust and realized my need for a shower and fresh clothes. When I arrived at home I ran into Rosalie in the garage. Great, I thought. Exactly what I need. â€Å"You know this is going to cause problems, Edward,† she hissed my name. â€Å"Not now, Rosalie.† I growled back. â€Å"You are so self-centered, haven't you thought about what this will do to our family?† she bit back at me. Of course I had thought about it. Wasn't it obvious that it was eating at me, every second of every day? It was only earlier that I admitted my betrayal. She must be bored ?C this argument was getting old. â€Å"Rosalie, go jump off a cliff,† I snapped back at her, not like that would do much to her; maybe ruffle her hair and clothes – that should piss her off. I chuckled at my internal thought. Ignoring her jibes and muttering I continued to walk inside. Everyone else was pointedly ignoring me. It was apparent that they were all acting busy. I saw through the pretense but I was relieved they were leaving me alone. I was swiftly dressed and back at Bella's before Charlie left, parking my car around the block so it would be out of sight. I raced towards her house, hoping to hear something new today. Lurking in the shadows outside her house, the feeling of being a stalker came over me again. Was this how I would forever live my life ?C being a crazy vampire stalker? Catching the tail end of their conversation I reprimanded myself for letting Rosalie distract me, taking away a considerable amount of my time. My stalking time, I laughed mirthlessly at myself. Feeling a little belligerence because I failed to get back before her thoughts were being spoken, I listened with more effort†¦.eavesdropping on their conversation more tentatively. â€Å"I'm not going to the dance, Dad.† I heard the stubbornness in Bella's tone as I imagined her vulnerable face creasing with anger. Her kitten anger. I chuckled. Today seemed to be a mostly silent thought day for Charlie, but the tenor of his mind was still leaking out. Fear raged through him at the possibility that none of the boys liked her at school. What was wrong with his daughter? These thoughts were more pointless than he realized. If only he knew what all the males at school thought about her†¦ Even worse – what she liked: a vampire. â€Å"Didn't anyone ask you?† Charlie asked, concerned. â€Å"It's a girl's choice.† Bella's voice was exultant with smugness. I could almost hear the triumph in her voice as she realized she won this argument. Once again I imagined her face; her chin jutting out, her lips pursing. Another chuckle. Oh, how light my heart felt every second I was around her. â€Å"Oh.† Charlie huffed, disappointed. His thoughts turned a different direction while he contemplated why she didn't like anyone at school. She did like someone though†¦me. My heart leapt, my desires raced, my body ached to hold her. Enough, I ordered. Hadn't I gone too far already today? The clattering of dishes rang out into the yard before Charlie emerged from the house. I watched as he waved, saying goodbye to Bella. I raced towards my car. As soon as Charlie drove off I was in the driveway waiting for her, anxious that one day she will walk out of the house, see me waiting for her and then will deny me her company. It pained me to think like this but I was still not completely sure of her feelings. Her hidden thoughts make things more interesting, I sighed, but they also drive me insane. Bella came out of the house with a slight skip in her step as she turned around to lock the door, leaving the main dead bolt unlocked. I noticed everything about her, even the inconsequential. As I watched her carefully, I almost exited the car to give her a hand, worried she might fall at her pace but she slowed when she saw the silver Volvo waiting for her in the drive. I felt a quick sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, I should remain in the car; she obviously was considering her options at this point. More pain, my burning desire feared to be extinguished. She continued her unhurried pace in my direction. What was she thinking? Did she not want to ride with me today? She stopped with her hand on the door, wavering. Aggravation flooded me in waves I'd never felt before, not at Bella, but the fact that I didn't know what she was thinking. I tried to probe her mind once again, and reached a solid and impermeable wall. My light mood quickly faded at my new fear. Her hand reached out to grab the handle. I exhaled heavily at the relief that now flooded me. Finally, she decided to ride with me, I hoped, considering she was now opening the door. Her head ducked under the roof of the car and I greeted her with a smile while I waited for her scent to assault me. She finally sat in the passenger seat and shut the door, sending a hot wave of freesia in my direction. Daggers, white hot knives†¦burning. I took in a large breath, closing my eyes. Her scent did exactly what I expected. The warmth of her body and her pulse emitted the loveliest smell and the scent wrapped around me as it scorched down my throat. I opened my eyes to see the particles of air swirling around me that were now doused with her aroma. My eyes finally met hers. â€Å"Good Morning,† I said after swallowing my thirst. â€Å"How are you today?† How was she? What were her dreams about? Did she miss me? There were countless quantities of things I wanted to inquire about. My questions distracted me from my thirst more than anything else. I suppressed a sigh. â€Å"Good, thank you,† she smiled. Smiling, that was good. I surveyed her face and could tell she didn't sleep well because she had large circles under her eyes. And I stayed in her room all night as she tossed in her sleep, I added mentally. No need to inform her of my nightly visits, though. Once again I became frustrated because I couldn't hear her knowing mind. What kept her up at night? What made her toss and turn and say my name? It never appeared like she was having a nightmare, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself of this. What else could possibly be making her so restless if not scary monsters that actually exist?Maybe I was just fooling myself. â€Å"You look tired,† I pointed out to continue her talking. I took in another breath and was instantly intoxicated by her scent. My mouth watered, I was nearly salivating. No mistakes, I ordered. â€Å"I couldn't sleep.† She looked like she was confessing to something and then hid behind her curtain of hair. Keep it light. â€Å"Neither could I,† I teased as I turned the key to start the engine. She laughed and the sound was harmonious. â€Å"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did.† â€Å"I wager you did,† I returned her smile; relieved the conversation was going so well. Another ?C deeper ?C breath soared down my throat this time and I bit down hard on my cheek. The tantalizing smell was luxurious, painfully pleasurable†¦a rich profusion, opulent. The elaborate mix of her enticing scent was the only thing I ever wanted to breathe in, though, at the same time I craved the fresh air outside†¦just to clear my mind. I could literally stick my tongue out and taste her on the air; it was so saturated with her aroma. Oh, who cares about the pain, she was here with me and that was all I wanted, I told myself. No mistakes! I took in a few more gulps of air while the monster clawed angrily at my throat. He was so close to the edge that I was using all my concentration now to fight him back. â€Å"So what did you do last night?† she asked, intrigued. She instantly scared the monster back into the darkness with just the sound of her voice. She's clever†¦but not clever enough, it was my turn to ask the questions ?C as I had made clear the day before. There were so many questions that were left unanswered and I had to know. A smile broke across my face and I chuckled. â€Å"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions,† I said enthusiastically. â€Å"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?† her forehead creased. What was going on in her mind? She looked worried and I almost reached out to press my finger in between her eyebrows to smooth out the worry lines. Keep it simple, light. â€Å"What's your favorite color?† That was simple enough. She rolled her eyes. Maybe too simple. â€Å"It changes from day to day,† she smiled. I knew I was going to have to drag everything out of her, no surprise there. â€Å"What's your favorite color today?† I asked gruffly. â€Å"Probably brown,† she said, looking down at her brown shirt. Really? I had to stop myself from snorting and instantly dropped my serious gaze, the pretense no longer needed. â€Å"Brown?† I asked skeptically. â€Å"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown ?C tree trunks, rocks, dirt ?C is all covered up with squashy green stuff here,† she complained. At her answer, I was able to add another thing to my list: she was self-effacing. She wasn't easily led by other people, choosing her color because of what she liked, not what the populace agreed upon. Suddenly I remembered her muttering, â€Å"It's too green,† when she was sleeping one evening and tried not to chuckle aloud. â€Å"You're right,† I decided, excitement racing through me at all the thoughts I would unlock today. Even learning this little thing about her made me reel with glee. Okay, back to business. I was abruptly serious again. â€Å"Brown is warm.† Brown was in fact one of my favorite colors, too. I don't know why it took me so long to become aware of this; her deep brown eyes and long brown hair. I hesitated for an instant, not wanting to spoil the moment, but feelings I had never felt before I met Bella were surfacing. My hand twitched, wanting to reach over and pull her hair from her face, so I could see the beauty that lied beneath. To just lift her chin slightly, turning it in my direction so I could try to read the deep depths of her eyes†¦ Enough. It would be wrong for me to do it, to place her warm face in my cold hands. The warmth. If I just slightly raised her chin, I could meet her half way†¦place my lips to hers. Enough, I ordered again, but it was too late. My hand was out stretched, reaching towards her as I pulled her hair behind her shoulder, gently. Some of the lose strands spilled over my hand. Enough! I dropped my hand instantly. No mistakes! I could feel the warmth coming off of her skin, her fragrance was enveloping, and her hair was soft like silk. My urge to press my cold hard lips to her delicate soft ones had not evaded me. Stop there, I scolded myself. No more errors. You mustn't be so selfish, I reprimanded. We pulled into the school parking lot but this didn't mean that my questioning was over†¦that my desires were gone. Keep it light, I reminded myself. â€Å"What music is in your CD player right now?† I asked. She thought for a moment, her eyes un-focusing, looking up. â€Å"Linkin Park.† Her eyes met mine again. Hum, interesting choice. I reached into a compartment under my CD player and after rummaging through the debris I pulled out the same exact CD. â€Å"Debussy to this?† I raised an eyebrow. She just grinned at me. It was infectious. I returned her smile. It was time for school to start and we had to part ways. Luckily I could locate her no matter where she was, jumping from mind to mind. I was listing questions to ask her while I waited for the hours away from her to pass. Purgatory had now become a small slice of heaven. Watching her interact with other humans only added more questions to my ever growing list. I wanted to know everything about her. Was her responses what she was really thinking or was she replying with what they wanted to hear? My list grew. I made sure to meet up with her in between every class and stroll along side her while she talked; absorbing the information like a snake soaks up the heat from the sun. During our short walks I was able to unleash some of the questions from my ever growing list. Her every expression, body language, and replies were all-encompassing and intriguing. I was gradually learning each of her little quirks and thoughts. As I continued to unlock the mystery that was Isabella Swan, I learned something new. She wasn't just good; she was virtuous†¦above me. I looked at the crowd in the hallway. Above them all. The day when I could question her nonstop had finally arrived and I was entirely full of a bright glowing light. As each moment passed I was deeply afraid she would realize I was below her, insignificant compared to her greatness. She still ate with me at lunch, or she ate, I questioned. Sometimes, I got so excited with the information being spilled from her that I began spitting out the questions so fast that she was almost breathless trying to respond to them all. It was hard to control myself. It was like someone switched on the computer and I was accessing her hard drive, absorbing the knowledge of her mind that she kept locked up nice and secure. Then, something miraculous happened. Or, by my standards it was miraculous. Because who could possibly like a vampire? During our questioning I asked her what her favorite gemstone was and she blurted out topaz immediately and then her skin turned an appetizing color of red. Automatically, I breathed in a gluttonous amount of air and sighed. Why was she blushing? I begged her to enlighten me as to why she was embarrassed by her answer. â€Å"Tell me,† I begged. â€Å"It's the color of your eyes today,† she sighed and I watched her look down while the blush on her cheeks became a brilliant red again. She loved me, too. Like I said ?C a miracle. Another thing to add to my list: she was passionate. Joy rushed me; almost flipping me over my seat at the feelings of deep affection that warmed me, almost making me feel human. Almost. I suddenly thanked whatever force brought her to me. And then, surprising me even more, she elaborated on her answer. â€Å"I suppose if you ask me in two weeks I'd say onyx.† Her face turned even a darker shade of pink. I ignored the thirst, easily wiping it away like a bug on my windshield. Was she finally opening up? I could feel the spring in my step, the instant craving to bound over the table and bring her into my arms†¦to kiss her warm lips. She gave me a face like she was bracing for something. Was she waiting for the fury that radiated off of me when I realized how engrossed she was with a vampire and the fact that she just didn't care? I'd forever hate myself for my poor reactions in Port Angeles†¦for making her cry. When the lunch break was over we walked to Biology class. I wanted to reach out and seize her hand†¦her warm ?C inviting ?C hand looked very welcoming to my own. She was next to me but I was feeling detached, like our fingers should forever be interlocked. Stop it, I thought. No mistakes. And holding her would be a mistake. We would be continuing the movie in Biology class today which I wasn't thrilled about. Yesterday the electricity in the room was encompassing us. I wasn't sure I would be able to not touch her while she sat so close to me in the dark room where the electricity flowed freely between us. Each little zing practically making me automatically reach out towards her. We took our seats beside each other and I knew the warm room would soon fill with Bella's scent. The heater turned on and I was waiting to embrace it, to bring it deeper into my lungs so I could revel in the delicious scent, let it intoxicate me. I've never been drunk, but if I had to guess, I'd say her scent made me quite tipsy. Every moment that passed by when I was with Bella was the most painful and pleasant. Though the fire I felt in my throat didn't dissipate, her aroma was something I continued to embrace. Over time her scent had become less over powering which helped the monster stay securely caged in my chest. Or maybe being around her all the time helped? Had my constant presence in her life helped to make the thirst dissipate? Each moment, the thirst was becoming more manageable with my familiarity with her scent. The lights dimmed for the movie and I moved my chair a little farther away from hers this time. I saw her eye my movement with sadness, but it was better if I don't entice my senses too much, even though the space didn't matter much to these new feelings I had. The need to reach out and hold her hand, or maybe put my arm around her was nearly overwhelming. No mistakes, I fought internally. She would probably be repulsed by how cold my skin is. She would feel the hardness of my body and maybe then she would realize the monster I am. Would she be terrified then? No matter how far away I moved from Bella in this warm little room I could sense her and feel the current in the air around us. I watched her as she leaned forward, folding her arms on the desk and resting her chin on them. Not once did I look away from Bella. I watched as she twitched occasionally and wondered what was bothering her. Did she want to touch me too? If she did, it would only make it that much more difficult for me to not give her what she wants ?C to bring her into my arms and hold her securely to my chest like I did the day I saved her from the van. Hah! He moved away from her. Mike sneered in our direction. Guess things aren't going so well in Cullen land after all. This enraged me beyond belief and made it that much more difficult to keep my hands off Bella. I wanted to protect her from his thoughts; I wanted to show him that she was mine. But again, I had to remind myself of what a horrible mistake I was about to make as my arm twitched in her direction. I folded my arms securely across my chest attempting to keep the monster caged and trying to hold my hands at bay. If I were not a vampire, I would have crushed my own bones from crossing my arms so tightly. I was trying to hold back my other desires, now, as they burned and begged for me to just reach over and grab her up into my arms. The fantasy was beginning to spin wildly out of control. Enough! When the movie was over I saw her sit up. She was gripping the desk so hard that I saw her fingers go from white to pink as the blood rushed back into them. I watched as the blood swirled under her clear skin. I was internally struggling, trying not to caress her, hoping she hadn't hurt herself by her deathly grip on the desk. The class was dismissed and I stood up and waited for her to get to her feet. I grabbed her books and walked her to gym. What was she thinking now? The questions burning inside me were not the questions I was going to raise today. Do you love me too? came to mind. I sighed as my curiosity was beginning to burn as hot as the thirst in my throat. As I was walking with her I was fighting the urge to reach out and hold her hand, again. The urge was becoming unbearable. My thirst was now second to my new desires. I was walking at her pace hoping I could convince myself that all of my cravings had to take a backseat to Bella's needs. She is so frail and breakable. The internal conflict was becoming regular. When we finally reached the gym I still hadn't completely made up my mind. I was totally and utterly unsure of my path. When she turned to look at me with her deep communicative eyes any commitment I had crumbled to pieces. She looked so glorious that my arm was raised, hand out, and caressing her face from her temple down to her jaw without my consent. A deep fervor brought new sensations down my spine. A tingling feeling rushed through my veins, entering my heart, expanding it with just the thought of my affection. As soon as I realized what I was doing I dropped my hand, turned around and staggered away. Any semblance of my good nature persona was probably crushed at my rude goodbye. Heck, I didn't even say goodbye. What in the world were you thinking? I thought angrily at myself. She didn't seem to mind though. She might have even leaned a little into my touch, the devilish side of me thought. Wow, her instincts were backwards. Who would want to be touched by something so cold? As I was walking I started peeking into peoples' minds in her gym class. After what happened last time in gym class I had to admit I was slightly anxious that she might injure herself again. To imagine her warmth dissipating nearly crippled me. I wanted to stay out of Mikes mind but he was always paying so much attention to Bella. As much as I hated him, I appreciated him for always paying attention, but loathed him for unlocking some of her secrets before I did. Reaching class I sat next to Emmett. I really hate Cullen, he is such a freak. Mike was thinking in irritation. What does she see in him? He's such a tool. Mike thought scathingly while playing badminton. Well, things did seem a little cool between them in Biology. At his thoughts I almost shot out of my seat in anger. He was mentally picturing fighting with me and winning Bella's affections. Suddenly, the thought of this feeble human trying to fight me was comical and I was trying very hard to suppress laughter. Emmett stared at me as he watched the many expressions flicker across my face. I ignored him because I was busy watching Bella in gym. Mike and Bella didn't speak, and I had to admit it was rather delightful to see him sweat over it. I really didn't like the way he thought about her, or the way he fantasized about being with her. I started to imagine all the ways I could torture him. I smiled at the wistful thought but I needed to banish that idea from my mind quickly before that daydream got too out of control. What is so funny? Emmett was staring at me, smiling. It was clear he wanted to know what was going on by his raised eyebrow, no mind reading necessary. I knew he was having a hard time with my situation with Bella. It wasn't because he cared, it was because of Rosalie. She was being difficult. If anything, he was having an enjoyable time with the situation minus Rosalie. Emmett was learning to love humans because he thought they were so hilarious. I grinned at him and whispered too low for human ears to hear. â€Å"Mike is thinking of fighting me,† I chuckled low. Emmett's eyes grew tight as his smile widened. Now he was trying to stifle a laugh. Emmett always loved a fight, but that one would be too easy. We could just put him in a room with Rosalie. She has been very irritated lately, Emmett couldn't stop from laughing this time. He pictured Rosalie in a room with Mike. In this image, Mike was pathetically trying to fight off a very powerful and pissed off Rosalie. Mike wouldn't stand a chance. I grinned widely at the thought, another chuckle escaping my lips. Ms. Goff looked for the culprit of the laughing and passed over us quickly. Just like the other teachers, they all thought us to be perfect students. Who is interrupting my class? What could possibly be so funny? She thought angrily. I arrived outside the gym before Bella had exited, practically bouncing on the balls of my feet. My desires started flaring up again when she finally walked through the doors and her eyes met mine. A smile crept up her elegant face. She was happy to see me, too. I don't deserve her. I couldn't help but smile back. It was all I could do to not grab her up into my arms and hug her. No mistakes. Especially after the one I made before her gym class. Her scent enveloped me, and the monster reared up, but the desire to hold her over powered the monster and he was pushed into the dark again. Just another stupid bug on my windshield. My body was taking charge without my permission when it came to acquiring what I desired most with Bella. To preoccupy my time I decided to start my questioning again. I drove her to her house while unlocking the mysteries of her mind the whole all way there. I parked in her driveway while our conversation continued. We were so engrossed in our exchange that Bella didn't seem to notice we had stopped. After sitting in the car for quite some time I noticed that she never tried to exit. I was bathing in her aroma and letting the hollow yearn in my stomach and the dry dull ache of my throat remind myself of the monster that I am. I started asking her questions about her past and I became instantly terrified. Did I really want to know what was lurking in her past? Was there another boy? Someone she had to leave behind? Someone who could hold her, embrace her, care for her without having the desire to drink her dry of life? The fear behind this thought nearly crippled me so I decided I would ask her later about previous boys she dated. Skipping over the subject I asked her why she loved Arizona. She explained it to me in great detail, excited to answer this one. The way she talked about the place was almost like she loved it, just like I loved her. She used her hands to describe things. It was like I unlocked her voice box. Her thoughts were finally being freed from her mind. When she was done answering I already had another question in mind. I asked her what her room was like and she began telling me about it in detail. Of course I already knew exactly what it looked like; dotted with shoes, tangles of covers on her bed, closet lacking jumbles of clothes, piles of books and an old computer that at first glance you wouldn't think would work. I couldn't help myself. I had to be near her and asking the inconsequential seemed to be the best way. I felt so alone without her around. When did she become my life? How did she become my life? â€Å"Are you finished?† she asked with relief in her voice when I didn't spit out another query. Finished? â€Å"Not even close ?C your father will be home soon.† It was more of a reminder for me, not for her. She looked out the window quickly like she was wondering where the sun went. â€Å"How late is it?† she asked, a little panic in her voice. She glanced at the clock and surprise crossed her face. â€Å"It's twilight,† I answered. I looked out the windshield and realized another day was over. â€Å"It's the safest time of day for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way†¦ the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?† I grinned at her, trying to remind myself to keep it light. â€Å"I like the night† she announced. â€Å"Without the dark we would never see the stars,† she frowned and looked out the window. â€Å"Not that you see them here much,† she finished sarcastically. Her tone caught me off guard and I laughed. Crap, her father. I heard Charlie a few streets away. â€Å"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him you will be with me Saturday†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I raised an eyebrow teasingly. I wanted her to tell him because it would give me a reason to bring her back. It would keep my new desires in check†¦my thirst, my ever growing need to kidnap her and never bring her home again. â€Å"Thanks but no thanks,† she replied airily. There she went again, embracing danger. She began gathering her books, looking a little uncomfortable. Did I say something wrong? Was it the look on my face?She turned and looked at me. â€Å"So, is it my turn tomorrow, then?† she asked. She still wanted to see me tomorrow! I rejoiced. â€Å"Certainly not!† I said in mock rage. It felt so good to be light and teasing around her. She made my skin sing. â€Å"What more is there?† she said, perplexed. There was everything more. I wanted to know everything about this girl, every detail of her life. â€Å"You'll find out tomorrow.† I teased. I reached across her ?C before thinking about it ?C to open her door. Her warmth washed over me and it took every bit of my brain to concentrate on not leaning over and letting my desires take control. I heard her heart start to beat rapidly. It skipped a few beats and I felt her breath on me. I ached†¦I yearned for her. No mistakes! How much could I take before I did something I regretted? A thought startled me back into reality. I hope Charlie is home. I'm ready to watch the game. It sure has been a while since I've seen him, hope he's not still mad at me. I froze with my hand on the door handle. â€Å"Not good,† I muttered. I clenched my teeth together; it was Billy Black. â€Å"What is it?† She stared at me trying to read my face. Well, I knew I was going to have to let her out of the car eventually, but not while the Blacks were here. I wanted to take her and run. What other kind of stories could they fill her mind with? â€Å"Another complication.† I said glumly. I grabbed the door handle and pushed it open. The air outside blew swiftly into the car and brought her scent with it. I was instantly ravenous and moved quickly away from her, trying to shove the monster back in my chest with the movement. Stay Bella I wanted to beg but she really did need to just leave me alone. I knew I wouldn't let her leave me alone though, not after discovering that she was the most astounding creature I had ever known. I suppressed a sigh as the Blacks headlights flashed across her gorgeous face. â€Å"Charlie's around the corner,† I warned her. She got out at once. Sheets of rain were pelting down on my windshield. Odd, I didn't notice it was raining until she opened the door. I could see her squinting through it towards the Black's car. She must not know who it is. I stared right through the headlights seeing very clearly. I could hear Jacob Blacks thoughts now and he was irritating me immediately. Oh, it's Bella! I wonder if there is something wrong with her truck. I should take a look at it, maybe make something up that would take me a long time to fix so I could spend more time with her. Man, she is so pretty. I wonder what she thinks of me†¦Who is that? He stared in my direction but he didn't recognize me. I had to get out of there. I squealed my tires and drove away more quickly than necessary. As I drove away I was struggling with myself about spying on her some more. Would the Blacks convince her to stay away from me? I was not oblivious to Billy's thoughts, I had heard his opinion many times in the past and he loathed me. But Bella was still alive, and she was still with me. She said it didn't matter to her that I was a vampire. I wonder what it will finally be, the thing that scares her away, I pondered. The thoughts of leaving her alone started to become fewer and farther between. What was her fate now? I was still worried about our trip to the meadow. I remembered Alice's vision before my resolve but they are so skewed that they could change the instant I decide to take a bite. Would I kill her? Would I take her into my arms, press my lips to her neck and sink my teeth into her, making her an immortal? I couldn't even imagine being able to stop. Would I ask Carlisle? No, she didn't deserve my fate. I would never take her soul.